Provers 31 Woman

The Proverbs 31 woman: this gave me a whole new outlook on what it means to me a wife and mother.

 ¹⁰A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate

Prayers Please

I have not blogged in a while because I am trying to write out my testimony for Feminar! Mrs. Janet has asked me if I would video tape my testimony to be played at Feminar! That is SO amazing but SO scary! To think that there may be someone in the audience who doesn't know the Lord (me last year) and my testimony could change it for them....WOW!!!

Granted, having it video taped is way better than me being up there trying to talk to 1,000 people!!  I am nervous about putting how I feel about the Lord into words so that everyone else can understand it, what a challenge it has become!

I rewrite it everyday! I only have about 15 more days until we record it and I could use your prayers.

Please pray that the Lord continues to talk to me and speak through me. I want to make it about HIM, He is the one who saved me! And if you don't mind, please pray for my nerves to calm down!! :)

Thank you in advanced awesome friends!

Open me Lord.

Would You open up eyes, so I can see
Would You open up my ears, so I can hear
Would You open up my mind, so I can know
Would You open up my heart, so I could love You more

I want to serve You, my God
I want to give All of Me,
I want to serve You, my King, yeah
I want to serve You, my Lord
I want to give You everything, yeah

Would You open up eyes, so I can see
Would You open up my ears, so I can hear
Would You open up my mind, so I can know
Would You open up my heart, so I could love You more

I want to serve You, my God
I want to give You everything
I want to serve You, my King, yeah
I want to serve You, my LOrd
I want to give You everything, Yeah

Here I am with my arms open wide
Asking for You to come up, up inside
Won't You make me new, won't You make me true?
Jesus, won't You make me like You?

Would You touch my eyes, so I can see
Would You touch my ears, so I can hear
Would You touch my mind, so I can know
Would You touch my heart, so I could love You more

Won't You open me
Won't You open me, open me
Won't You open me, open me
Won't You open me

I love this song, it totally inspires me! (Open Me, Shawn McDonald)

Fighting Back!

I am trying to make a decision that will affect our family greatly. I know what I want to do, I know what God wants me to do but to actually do it and not be terrified is really hard. (For those of you who don't know what my choice is, you will soon enough. The time is not right to tell it. Just bare with me in this blog and think of it as a general "FIGHT THE DEVIL BLOG"!!! lol)

Brandon and I have been thinking about it for about 3 weeks now. Making sure we have our ducks in a row, being prepared for it, its what we do!  The closer we get to the time when we will have to make a "yes or no", the more anxious I get. This is a perfect example of how the devil will try to sabatoge your dreams.

I KNOW that we will be ok, I KNOW that God will provide. I KNOW that it will be hard. I also know that with the strength and courage from God, we will not only make this choice the best ever, God will bless us for it.

When you have a dream about to come true, the devil will step in and make you doubt yourself. That is exactly what he is doing to me right now!!! Starting yesterday, that mean ol' devil has been after me!  He has told me that "this choice will break my marriage, it will destroy our lives, we wont live happily, I am not strong enough, I am not cut out for this, I will ruin the rest of my life".  Typically that is good reason to run the other way....oh not for me...not for any child of God's! I will fight that devil!

I really hate hearing and feeling these things so I pray and I hard pray for God to reveal the truth to me. My only defense against the devil is God and His TRUTH; it is what I know to be TRUE! His word! He loves me and will bless me for living for Him. He will not give me anything that I cannot handle. I think that sometimes God will put a though into your mind and it is his secret way of telling you what you should do. Its like a test, do you muster the courage and strength through him and DO IT or let the devil win?!?

I want this so badly, I WILL WIN!!!! 

On the way to work, I was frustrated with that dang devil. Always in my ear, in my head and it was messing with every part of me! Turning my blessings turn into burdens <~~ That is just totally FALSE!!

I wanted to hear a song that would speak to me, so I searched Pandora on my phone and was getting upset/mad because they were all...well blah. I finally turned to my trusty channel, Nicol Sponberg, and BAM! Like lightening to my soul, I heard, Yet I will Praise. (I searched for lyrics to show you all, but couldn't find them.) It told me that even when I cant see, even when I am in darkness, I will trust and praise Him. He died for us and I can have His strength. 

It was like God was hugging my heart and telling me that I would be A-OK!

I am all better now, and I am back on the TGT, aka "Trust God Train". ha ha ha I just made that up and I LOVE IT!!  Who is with me?!?! Get on the TGT!!! 

I hope you have a great weekend friends!!

And remember, "When that pesky devil tells you that your dreams cannot come true or your blessings are burdens, you can gather your arsenal on the TGT"

(Reading this after I have finished makes me cry...I think it is very powerful and it encourages me to keep going, I hope it does for you too!)

Lay em' Down

I really love this song!! This morning when I heard it, I was reminded of how God loves each and everyone of us! No matter what differences seperate us, His love is never failing. Our Father listens to your prayers and mend your soul.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. - 1 Chronicles 16:34

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

Trust in Him; Lean on Him; He will never lead you astray!

Come down to the river
Come and let yourself in
Make good on a promise
To never hurt again
If you're lost and lonely
You're Broken down

Bring all of your troubles come lay 'em down
All you sinners
And the weak at heart
All you helpless
On the boulevards
Wherever you are now
Whatever evil you've found

Bring all of your troubles
And come lay 'em down
We're all tied to the same old failings
Finding shelter in things we know
We're all dirty like corrupted small towns

We'll bring our troubles
We'll bring our troubles lay 'em down
All you rich men
And the high above

All those with And without love
All you burdened Broken down
Bring all of your troubles
Come lay 'em down

Eyes of your Heart

Last night when I opened my bible and asked the Holy Spirit to speak to me about what is on my heart, I read this passage:

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints.- Ephesians 1:18

I have been praying for an answer on making a decision that my heart desires. I want to see what He deems best for our family. I am looking for His signs and leaning on Him.

I will keep my heart open and continue to look upward. My answer will be revealed and my heart just may get what I desire!

If the answer is something other than the one I want, that is ok too. God is in control and knows best. I will suck it up and continue to be happy where I am. :)

Have a great day friends and may God continue to bless you all.

Feminine Appeal

I am so thankful that my heart is full of the Holy Spirit. I am thankful that I can feel personally close to the Lord and talk to him about my deepest desires and deepest thoughts. He loves me just the same; always and forever. He has instilled joy and a deep, true love in my heart.

I am reading a book called Feminine Appeal. I really love it and it is touching my soul. It has brought to my attention that I need to spend my days doing what the Lord has called me to do. I just don't know exactly what that is yet. Is it working where I am or somewhere else? Is it to be home with Landen? The Lord and I have started a deep conversation about it. I am looking for His signs and listening for what He has planned for me.

The book has also taught me a new love for my husband. I have always loved him, from the first moment we talked. I have always been thankful and grateful for him but reading the chapter on "The Delight of Loving My Husband" changed something. It gave me a new perspective on him and what he means to me.

I am so excited to keep reading and growing! It is amazing. I was looking for a book to challenge and help my journey and this one is a great start!

Romans 12

I wanted to share Romans 12 with you all. We covered it in Sunday School this past Sunday and it's message is powerful. I believe that my spiritual gift is the "gift of faith". In every situation, I recognize the presence of God and know that He placed me here and this is His will. What happens will happen, I cannot change what will happen but I can change how I choose to look at it. But because God has deemed it to happen and the outcome will be ok! With the power and help of God; I will be ok.

What is your gift? Are you using it? How can you share it?

The passage on Love is remarkable. Just think if everyone acted this way. If everyone had the same goal; to be a godly person - we could change the world!

Romans 12

A Living Sacrifice

1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Humble Service in the Body of Christ

3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Love in Action

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good

What is your gift? Are you using it? How can you share it?

Facebook

Facebook. It is a love-hate relationship.

It can be so pretentious. Everyone post about how happy they are and the good things that happen in their lives (me included). Facebook makes everyone seem so perfect. It hardly ever shows the side of their life that they are not happy with, I mean, why would people share that! 

Facebook allows me to stay in touch with friends and family that dont live close. I like they can see Landen grow up through pictures and feel apart of our lives. And that is reason enough for me to keep my facebook page.

I have been debating on wheither or not to drastically clean my list up; only keep either a family member or friends who I talk to on a regular basis. When I post things of my family, it is meant for my friends and family to see.

Same for me: I dont need to be nosiey or see stuff just to see it. Or see what people post and think just because I see their post, we are friends.  I want to see "post" from people that mean something to me and we mean something to them. 

I have been thinking of the people on my friends list; who is there  just there to "see" the things I post and who is there because we are important to them? Just because we use to know each other doesnt mean we have to be friends on facebook, I honestly believe that. If you want to know what is going on with The Allbrights, then call/text or simply ask me.

Like I said before, if you want to know what is going on with me then why not make it personal and call or text. Dont just be nosiey on my page and pretend to think you are my friend Just because we are facebook friends doesnt make us true friends. Why cant we get back to being personal again?! Before Facebook was around.

Ok, I feel better. My facebook rant is over!

Have a blessed day friends! I will do my "list cleaning" today.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

Our Miracle from God

     2 years ago this morning, Brandon and I were on our way to the hospital to have become parents. It was the best and life altering 40 weeks and 5 days. I will never forget the feelings I had the moments before I was to be a mother. As we drove that dark morning, we listened to the song by Nickleback "Never Going to Be Alone". I have always loved that song but at that moment it became clear that it meant so much to me. It is my song to Landen. I will always and forever put my life down for this little man. He is my child and I thank God for that everyday. The miracle that God provided Brandon and I is a true testament to His power. I will spend each day as it may be our last. I will treat him with the most respect and encourage him to be who he wants to be. If he feels like letting go, I wont let him fall. When he feels his hope is gone, I will encourage him to carry on. I will hold on with both hands and we will learn together. I will tell him I love him every chance I get. I wont regret anything that our life holds. We are going to take the world on. These lyrics, they are so inspiring to me. Even now when I hear this song, I cry because my heart melts for Landen Kyne and the love that he has instilled in me. Thank you God for giving me the chance to be his mother.

Happy 2nd Birthday Landen Kyne; Daddy & Mommy love you SO very much. (You complete our family.)

Time, is going by, so much faster than I
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of here with you
Now I'm wondering why I've kept this bottled inside
So I'm starting to regret not selling all of it to you
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know

You're never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall
You're never gonna be alone, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone

And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands
'Cause forever I believe
That there's nothing I could need but you
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know

You're never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on
We're gonna see the world out, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone

Oh, you've gotta live every single day
Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Don't let it slip away, could be our only one
You know it's only just begun, every single day
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Tomorrow never comes

Time is going by so much faster than I
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you

You're never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on
We're gonna see the world out, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone

I'm gonna be there always
I won't be missing a word all day
I'm gonna be there always
I won't be missing a word all day
Here is the link to a youtube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt2kM0TsubU

Holy Spirt

I am feeling totally inspired by the Holy Spirt. He is within me and is giving me power!

On the end of the spectrum, I am feeling so emotional and broken by what the Holy Spirt is putting on my heart.

I KNOW what He wants; I want the same. But if only it was simple! I pray for strength and encouragement. I know that He is with me and will only give me what I can handle.

Everything that has happened up until now has happened for a reason - EVERYTHING!  And that right there brings my HOPE back to me - full force!!!!

Will You "Follow Me There"?

"Follow Me There"
Third Day

*You need a place where you can find some shelter
*Follow me there, follow me there
*You want a hand to hold, someone to help you
Follow me there, come on, follow me there

*Where love, like a river, flows
*Peace like you've never known
*And joy never ending lives
*A place where faith can find
*Hope that will never die
Follow me there, come on, follow me there

*You need a place to be your sanctuary
*Follow me there, come on, follow me there
*Where you can lay down all those burdens you carry
Follow me there, come on, follow me there

*Where the lost can find salvation
*And the lonely finds a friend
*Where the sinner finds forgiveness
Won't you follow me there
Won't you follow me there

The Question should be, "Why wouldnt you Follow Me There?"

Weightless

"Weightless"

I have to keep reminding myself
I'm not like anyone else
That's my face on my ID
That makes me V.I.P.
No one exactly like this
No one with my fingerprints
No one can touch you like me
No I can't fake what you see

They told me: "Girl, to get you're way, you've got to be a *&^%$!"
They say that: "A guy won't get the girl, if he's not filthy rich!"
You stop with little changes,
'Til you don't know who you are
Surround yourself with friends
Who only call you a superstar
Oh yeah, oh yeah
(Ready, set, baby let's go)

The sky is the limit
And I just wanna flow
Free as a spirit on a journey of hope
Cut the strings and let me go
I'm weightless, I'm weightless
Millions of balloons heading to the ground
Weight of the world tries to hold us down
Cut the strings and let me go
I'm weightless, I'm weightless,
I'm weightless, I'm weightless...

All the things I held in my fist
If I don't let go, I don't exist
They've become the things that define me
How I look and the things to buy me
That's not important anymore
I feel me rising off the floor
Light as a feather, I'm carefree
I'm weightless...

The sky is the limit
And I just wanna flow
Free as a spirit on a journey of hope
Cut the strings and let me go
I'm weightless, I'm weightless
Millions of balloons heading to the ground
Weight of the world tries to hold us down
Cut the strings and let me go
I'm weightless, I'm weightless, I'm weightless, I'm weightless
La, la la la la...

They told me: "Girl, to get you're way, you've got to be a &^%$!"
They say that: "A guy won't get the girl, if he's not filthy rich!"
It seems to me you're so heavy,
And weighs you down like that
Don't wanna be someone I hate
'Cause that too make no sense...

The sky is the limit
And I just wanna flow
Free as a spirit on a journey of hope
Cut the strings and let me go
I'm weightless, I'm weightless
(Ready, set, baby let's go)...

The sky is the limit
And I just wanna flow
Free as a spirit on a journey of hope
Cut the strings and let me go
I'm weightless, I'm weightless...

Millions of balloons heading to the ground
Weight of the world tries to hold us down
Cut the strings and let me go
I'm weightless, I'm weightless

 

Blessed By Your Name

This morning on my way to work, I heard this song. I've heard it before but this time it struck my soul and I felt it deep. I wanted to share; maybe it will strike you too! It reminds me that the Lord gets all the thanks for ALL MY MANY BLESSINGS!!!!

Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing You pour out I'll
Turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be You name
And blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
I will bless Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

My Life

My life may not be the "typical" life but it is perfect for me and I LOVE IT!!!! 

God gives my ample opportunity to grow in Him everyday. He gives me circumstances to challenge me. I remind myself that there is nothing that I am going throught that did not pass though His hands first. I have my life because He gave it to me.

When I think of another's life and start to compare it with mine.....God graciously intteruptes me. He reminds me that I am not equipt to handle their life; only they are. They are not equipt to handle my life; only I am.

I am very blessed and am in love with where my family is right now. It is chaotic sometimes, nerve racking other times and there isnt a day that passes where we are wondering where God will take us, but all the while I have peace and joy inside and that is something that no situation or circumstance will take a way!!  :)

(Perfect song for this on my play list: I Will Praise You in This Storm by Casting Crowns)

Have a great weekend friends.

Time for Change for a Creature of Habit!

I am 100% a creature of habit. If I find a food that I like, I will eat it everyday (i.e, my breakfast has been the same for seriously about 1.5 years - give or take a few weekend morning.) My subway sandwich has been the same since 1999 (seriously) lol.  Yep, that is weird, but it works for me. That makes one less thing that I have to think about and I always have a good breakfast, which is the most important meal of the day! ;)

Our afternoon routine is almost the same everyday. If I get to outta whack, it throws my thinking off! Landen has the same routine every day (except when he is with Nana, because Nana is a rule breaker!! lol). Like I said before, it works for us. We have gotten comfortable with this schedule.  It is not a bad schedule, I think it is getting old!

I think that we would all benefit from a little change. If you know me, you know that I will plan for that change. I will see what could work or what would be fun to do and go from there! I mean; you should not want to fix something that isn't broken but whats wrong with shinning it up some!?!?

Last night Brandon called me OCD. I said, you really think I am OCD? He said oh yeah. Thinking about it, I am OCD (about many things actually). But a better description of my self would be "a lazy OCD person - I have OCD but I am too lazy to get overly dramatic about it!" lol

I vow to change that!!! I will try to change some habits! Put a little spice in our lives! I don't know what kind of spice I will add, but I will find something! :-D

Have a great Wednesday friends!!

(p.s. I think my favorite songs on my play list is Annie by Mat Kearney and Drown by Chasen)

New Blog Layout!

I  have updated my blog page. I totally love it! I could stare at it forever. It seems so personal and just perfect. It respresents me!!

 To bad I will have to change it once fall is over. :(

A lesson on faithfulness

Yesterday morning, when I went in to get Landen out of his bed; he had thrown up during his sleep. It has taken 23 months for him to throw up and I missed it. I have always imagined seeing the first time he would throw up as very dramatic and I would be extremely helpless. I wished I could have been there to comfort him. He was not to worried about it. He was pretty amazed by it actually. He kept calling it poo poo. ha ha  

All day yesterday he didn't eat much. Hardly drank anything. He even took a two hour nap, two hours earlier than normal. I just knew he didn't feel good. The strange thing is that Landen will play regardless of the situation!  He is faithful in his play. Even when times get tough, he plays. From the moment he wakes up, to the moment he goes to bed, he plays (sometimes he plays in his bed).

Do we need to have that kind of faithfulness in our relationship with the Lord? Regardless of the situation? I think I do; I pray regardless of the situation. I thank the Lord for our blessings, for the unanswered prayers, and for His will to be done. 

It is a daily challange to give it to the Lord. It is human to want to fix it our selves. Right now, we are facing some tough choices. It tears my heart in different directions. (Being an adult is hard!! ha ha) The decisons are weighing heavy on my heart and the only true comfort I have is to pray to God. When I worry about the next move, I remind my self that HE is in control and HE will not give us something that we cannot handle.  I pray that I will be able to see which way He wants us to travel.  I know that He is with me, everywhere and always and will forever comfort me, I just need to go to Him with my worries and anxiety!

My son amazes me every day of my life. God blessed me so much because of you!!!!

Have a great week friends :)

My Blessing

Brandon and I had been married for 5 years. I had just graduated college. We had bought our first house. Our lives seemed to be great.....but there was something missing from my life. I wanted to be a mother. We talked and decided to start a family <--- the second best moment of my life. 

We told our family on Christmas of '08 what our plans were. They were SO happy. Everyone was waiting a long time for us to have a baby! We felt the pressure but never gave in until it was our right time.

February 14, 2009 I took a pregnancy test and found out that a we would be parents! It was a scary and very emotional moment. Brandon asked "what do we do now". I said "I guess we have a baby, I have never done this before!". I love that man!! 

My pregnancy was amazing. I LOVED every moment of it. I was induced 4 days past my due date. Labored for about 11 hours (from start to finish but only pushing for about 20 minutes). Landen Kyne Allbright had arrived and blessed our lives more than we can ever imagine, weighing 9 pounds 12 ounces, 22 1/2 inches long.

Being a mother has taught me so many things. Most of all, to live in the present. Time flies by so fast; cherish every moment (even the screaming, kicking fits!). I love that boy with my whole heart and he amazes me every day. When I look at him, I am taken aback by his intelligence, his beauty, his kindness, everything that he is and everything that he will become. Wow, I am in that little boy. His amazing daddy is in him.... It is SO remarkable!!! A true act of God. I am forever blessed because of Landen.

The day God truly blessed me and Brandon.

I heard Jesus

Yesterday when I got off of work I had so many things to do that I was feeling very overwhelmed. I went and got Landen and we were off. While waiting in a looooong line at the red light at Hawkins and 259, I thought,

"I just need to go to that party store. I have seen people make a illegal u-turn many times...if I did it, I would save some time. I don't have time to be waiting in unnecessary lines!!"

Right when I said that to my self, I heard Jesus say,

"Miranda, just be patient."

That is all it took. I heard his words and my heart calmed down. I looked in my rear view mirror and saw a PT Cruiser making that illegal u-turn that I was just thinking of doing. Following right behind him was a cop car with his lights on!!!

"Why would that person do it with a cop car right behind him?!?!? That is pure crazy!!

Then I thanked Jesus for speaking to me when I was flustered and overwhelmed. If I would not have heard Jesus, I would have been the one to get that ticket.

The rest of the afternoon was chaotic and everything but ordinary for Landen and myself BUT I had a great attitude about it. I felt Jesus close to my heart and we got through it together!!!

I wanted to blog about this right after it happened but I was so busy, that I couldn't! :) IT was a special moment for me, to be able to hear Jesus amongst the craziness in my head....that is truly special!

Reassurance

 Jesus Calling for September 28 says this:

Open your mind and heart—your entire being—to receive My Love in full measure. So many of My children limp through their lives starved for Love, because they haven’t learned the art of receiving. This is essentially an act of faith: believing that I love you with boundless, everlasting Love. The art of receiving is also a discipline: training your mind to trust Me, coming close to Me with confidence. Remember that the evil one is the father of lies. Learn to recognize his deceptive intrusions into your thoughts. One of his favorite deceptions is to undermine your confidence in My unconditional Love. Fight back against these lies! Do not let them go unchallenged. Resist the devil in My Name, and he will slink away from you. Draw near to Me, and My Presence will envelop you in Love.

 Reassurance is wonderful!

Self Control

Sometime last week, I read a verse in my quiet time that has been stuck in my head. It has spoken to me in many different ways.

 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. - 1 Peter 5:8

"Be self-controlled"; It stands out so much to me because God knows that I need this pressed on my heart. I am in control of my life; not satan. 

"Stay alert"; the devil is ALWAYS trying to get inside your mind and flip the switch. When I think that I 'cant do' something, that is the devil telling me that I am not able to do it. But I know that I can do ANYTHING thru Jesus Christ who gives me strength.

"The devil is always prowling around you looking for someone to devour". I don't want that to be me! I want to live a faithful life. Have a gracious heart and learn and live more like Jesus.

My perfect example:  I don't like getting up at 4:20 each morning to get a workout in before work....but that is the time that I have for me and the only time it will get done. So, when my alarm goes off... I remind my self that the devil will try to convince me that I need that extra 45 minutes of sleep and not to get out of bed. So, honestly most mornings, I have to roll my self off the bed! I will either hit the floor or catch myself; either way - I am up! I am human, so there are mornings when the devil wins and I sleep.... I HATE IT! Through out the day, I regret not working out and it weighs heavy on me. So more and more I have become aware of when I am not in control and I am trying to prevent it from happening. 

When I do not spend daily time with my Bible, the devil seeps in a little bit more. Your greatest defense against the devil is knowing the promises of Jesus. If you don't know His promises, how can you defeat the devil?!

Since my last blog; I have become more aware of what I need in my life. That blog opened doors in my heart. Since writing it, my heart has healed some wounds, and has a different feeling. It is amazing!! :) My focus is where it needs to be. When I wrote that, I had only hoped that my heart would change, I am glad to report that the things I have done to change it have helped me! :)

The other night, I woke up out of a great deep sleep (I am sure that it was Jesus talking to me because who does that? Who wakes up and automatically thinks something out of the blue? I have never done it). I said to myself "Jesus is my strength, I can do anything thru Him". I kept repeating it and fell back asleep (maybe that was all a dream, I am not sure but either way He spoke to me :)) and have never forgotten it. Jesus knows when His children are slipping away from him (I was unaware that I was one of them). He knew exactly how to touch my heart and heal me.

I am comfortably sitting in His embrace once again! Right where I should be! Right where EVERYONE should be!

Have a very blessed day friends!

Landen's Halloween Birthday Invitation!!

I just wanted to share the invites that I made. I think they turned out so cute!!! I cant wait for the "spooktacular party"....wait a minute; I think I can because that means my baby is 2!! :(



Clarification

I have a little desk date/quote/inspirational/funny thing that I just love. Every so often I get somthing off of it that really touches my heart. Just now, I turned to tomorrow (I look ahead on Fridays because I am not here the weekend - thank goodness) and I just had to blog because it fits PERFECTLY to my previous blog today!

Our lives seem to be controlled by whatever blow hits up next, sending us lurching from headache to heartahce to horror story. But we can choose how we respond emotionally. We can choose to hold on to the One who promises never to leave us.

That is what I am aiming for!! To hold on to Jesus; not earthly things. My attention needs to be refocused!

My Past, Present and Future

{I have not blogged in a long time. I have had so many things on my mind that it is starting to feel like chaos in my mind. I had a break through last night (thanks to Jenn) and realized that I need to blog. Blogging lets me get rid of the thoughts that jumble up my mind. It allows me to sort through them and understand them better. Most importantly it allows me to make room for the most important, Jesus. Which in turn makes more room for the people in my life that matter most!

The last week has been full of ups and downs at work, with friends and all around. We have all been under the weather and we have changed a few things in our parenting repertoire. Many changes are taking place and my brain feels every bit of it. I need to "clean out" so I can focus upwards more. So lets get this started:}

The Past: Obviously the past made me who I am today and I cant change that now; but I can change how/who I am today and tomorrow. The past has taught me many things but the most important is that I should have known God a long time ago. God has his way of coming to each of us. He came to me when I was in deep emotional pain. The situation was painful for my heart; it still has residuale affects. He came to my rescue when I was broken down. I didnt know who I was or what I was doing; I was "running around like a chicken with my head cut off". He saved my heart and hasnt let go.  In 27 years, I never thought that I could have such deep connection with Him.  Growing up not knowing him, I didnt know what I was missing out on. I most certainly am saved by grace!!

The Present: It is where I try to stay and for the most part, I do. I try to be in the moment with everything, but there is one area that is weighing me down. The present may not look like what we think we want it to look like. We may not be were we think we want to be. But what we can be sure of is: that our present is not by accident. That everything we in the present is placed there by a mighty hand. Stay focued on what He wants you to get out of the situation and PRAY!! Praying is how we comminuate with God!

The Future: I know that I cannot change people, but GOD can. People may not act the way that I want them to; they may not feel the way I want them too; they most certainly may not say what I want them to say. But I cannot do anything about that. I can however do what God and Jesus have called us all to do and that is love them where they are. I will just let them be what they want to be. I can pray and love them from a far. I am in control of my life. I know that I am blessed and even though the world gives me many things to be distracted by, I will be focused on my blessings.

God knows what is going to happen. Even though I think that I want something to happen so badly, I need to be true to Him. The heart will trick you into the wrong things!!  God is in control and that alone gives me conmfort....I just need to stay focused on that!!

Have a blessed weekend friends!! :)

Weekend Madness

Sunday morning, we woke up at 5:00 (thank you Landen) and so I worked out, L and I went for a jog (as soon as it was daylight out) and cooked breakfast, cleaned house (again) and got dressed. By the time church came, I was exhausted.

Here is my "very not so proud moment": I knew that I was going to stay in the nursery for about 15 minutes while the other teachers went around and asked for volunteer help from the Sunday school class. If you don't know by now, I love my Sunday school class. It gets so personal with God word. I need that class every week and this week I was looking forward to it because I could feel my attitude sinking. So, my mother and I get to the nursery and the teachers left.  Time passes and time passes. The more time passes the more I can feel my mind getting worse. I hated that feeling that I had in my heart. It was definitely satan making me feel bad about missing out on what I wanted to do. I thought that I would have only been in there for 15 minutes and I would get to be in my Sunday school class.....boy was I sinking. I tried telling my self that I needed to stop being selfish, but it didn't work. I played with the kids and tried to look happy.... What was I doing? I was wallowing in my self pity. So what if I missed one day of Sunday school. I needed to be where I was. So after about 40 minutes I came to terms with the fact that I was not going to go to Sunday School class.

I am a planner, always have been. If I make plans, I want to stick with them. I want to know what is happening. I get my self worked up for something and when it doesn't work out, I get upset, even if it is the simplest thing, like not going to the grocery store when we planned to. I want to be prepared for the situation ahead of me. I know yesterday was one of His test for me.

In the nursery I asked Jesus to please give me sign that I was meant to be here and that the service will be enough for my heart. Please take this dwelling feeling away from me and show me the righteous path. Right after I prayed, Landen went to the bath room door and said "pee pee". We put him on the potty and he pee peed. YAY!!! A very proud moment that I am so glad I was there to see. :)

I was reading a book last night and something jumped out at me.

"Our lives are not random. Everything in our lives is put there by God."

I think that sometimes we see His blessings as inconveniences; like I did yesterday. I was caught up in my self and the fact that I wanted to be in Sunday school class that I over looked what He was trying to teach me. I feel bad for theway I felt but I am more proud that I overcame the negative feeling and beat satan, I just wish it didn't take me as long as it did.....next time He has a test for me, I will be quicker on my feet!

Thanks for listening to my confession.  Have a greatly blessed day.

Random thoughts!

I have been slacking on my blogs lately. It certainly is not for lack of words and thoughts! It is mostly for lack of time.

Stevens Love is moving into our new building next week (if all the renovations are done) and we have to get packing. It is going to be an awesome change!! I cant wait!

Landen started a new daycare this week and that has been taking my time up, thinking of how he is growing and molding into something wonderful! He only cries for about seriously 30 seconds when we first separate in the mornings, and then he is a social butterfly. My baby boy is so smart! I saw him yesterday lining up from outside and his teacher told his class to "put a bubble in your mouth and hands behind your back". HE DID IT PERFECTLY!!!  He looked SO cute walking in line being a big boy! When I mentioned how cute he was to the teacher, she said that he always does what he is told and she hardly ever has a problem out of him! That makes my heart so happy and I am one very proud momma!! Landen Kyne, "You Go Boy!!"

The fires in Texas are very fierce and out of control. The smoke in the air makes it hard to breathe. We have been lucky that when I get home with Landen, we can play outside because the smoke has cleared. Right now, sitting in my office, I can smell the smoke coming through the walls! :(

You never think about having fresh air to breath as a gift....until it is gone. I think that there are many things in our everyday lives that we take for granted. Looking for the blessings in each day and be thankful for them will help me to not grumble or complain so much!

Last weekend was amazing! The extra day with Landen and Brandon was just what I needed. I have started jogging with Landen again; something that we both love very much. The temperatures have been remarkable! When he sees the jogging stroller in the garage, he climbs in it and is ready to go. That is all good and cute except when we are headed to daycare, he gets disappointed pretty fast! 

My mother went to church with me last weekend and told me this morning that she will come with me this Sunday! Very excited! Then after church, we are going to see my Great Grandma, it is grandparents day and we have a whole slew of 5 generations! How awesome is that?!?

I cant wait for the weekend ahead and the weather!!!  So much fun is to be had!

Have a very blessed day friends.

 Live by faith, one day at a time. Are you able to see the blessings this day has to offer?

A Perfect Blind Date!

Last week my Sunday school class had a ladies night and I was unable to attend. I heard that they all shared the story of how each met their spouse. I am so sad that I missed out on that...I love good stories! So I want to share how Brandon and I crossed paths.

I graduated in 2002 from New Diana and only a few short months later I was to be sent off to the Air Force (by choice). I had not been dating anyone, I mean, why would I when I was about to leave! I had to keep my options were wide open!

I had a good friend, Caleb, who was dating Jamie. She had a good friend named Brandon. Jamie kept bugging me (and yes, she was truly bugging me) about me just needing to meet Brandon. That she thought we would be "perfect together....blah blah blah".... and I kept telling her no. One day I was sitting at home, bored out of my mind when she called and asked if I would come to Brandon's house tonight to just "hang out with her and her friends from Marshall and just see what I thought about Brandon". I sighed and said ok, Ill go. So I drove to Marshall, at TSTC where he was going to school, and walked into the rest of my life.

It was a first blind date for both of us. I walked into the apartment and my first thought that came through my mind was "he is really tall, what long legs". LOL (He is tall, 6'3, but with me being 5'4, he is really tall!). Later I would find out that his first thought about me was "What in the world is she wearing?!". Back in high school I had my "own style". I didn't care to much what people though, I would wear what I wanted to! So that night I wore my skirt, tank top and perfectly pair with my sneakers.

He couldnt believe that Jamie had set him up with me. lol - silly boy had no idea that I was his dream gal!!We hit it off perfectly.

He met my mother only once before I was left for the Air Force (We met in early September and I left late October). We wrote letters, talked to each other while I was in boot camp. He came to my bootcamp and tech school graduate. I finally met his mother once before I was stationed in Wyoming. Our parents both thought we were crazy for holding on to this "silly relationship" and moving in together across country with noone else - it was us....either it was going to go great or bomb. But my momma didnt raise no fool! I knew I was dating my husband!!

So, after he graduated from TSTC, in December he moved  across the country for me. He packed his little S10 truck to the brim and drove to Wyoming!! We were two kids in love! It was awesome!

After about 1.5 years of dating, I wanted to get married. He said "its just a peice of paper, whats wrong with dating". I stated my case and he stated his.

Ok, so since he is not my husband he cannot tell me what to do, his imput didnt really matter, right? AFter all he was just my boyfriend. You see, Brandon did not like the fact that I already had 2 tattoos when we met, and didnot want me to have anymore. So when he said marriage was not in the future, I went and got a tattoo in March of 04 (yes I am stubborn and strong willed, that has since changed only a little). In April of 04 he asked me to marry him! lol It may be a coincidence but I doubt it! :)

He called my work (as commanders secretary) and asked me over the phone on a Thursday to marry him. (Oh yeah, thats right ladies, over the phone!! :)) Actually he said "So, you wanna get married" I thought for sure he was kidding, but he wasnt....just wasnt good at speaking his emotions I guess!  Of course I said YES!!

That next day was my bestest friends wedding, (whom I walked down the aisle) and saturday we picked out rings, Sunday my mother flew up to Cheyenne, Wyoming and Monday we were at the court house with my mom and Aunt as witnesses and got married for $25. It was the shortest engagement ever but why wait when you know that it is a forever kinda thing! Sure I certainly wish we would have had a wedding, or that my best friend was there but it happened the way it happened.

So almost 10 years of knowing my husband, and happliy married for 7, we are so in love and I KNOW that he is my soul mate and we are together to grow, learn and teach each other so many things.

I love you Brandon Kyne and thank you for loving me, (even though I can get crazy) I cannot wait to grow old with you and Landen.

Humility and Humble

God has been teaching me so many things on these words. Once He decides to teach you something, he will keep giving you opportunities to flex that muscle. I should be one buff lady!!!

Humble:

I have been fighting with satan on being humble. My heart wants to be humble but satan knows where my weak points are and he attacks them! Is it weird to say that since I have become a believer it feels like satan is after me?! He comes after the relationships that I hold so dear to my heart. He gets in my thoughts.

Example: The other day I was confused on how to respond to a friend. I wanted to speak the truth without justifying myself; without making it about me or making it about her. So I waited to respond....I fought those feelings satan was giving me to the point that it made my belly hurt. I waiting until my brain was free of satan and I could hear only God's words. It was the best choice I could of made and even though it was tough, I am so glad I did. Because of the response I choose to give, more doors were opened. The response satan would have gave certainly would have closed them. And I would have been left feeling sad, depressed, confused and mad at myself - just how satan wants us to feel.  

Satan wants to take all good things away from us; he wants us to believe all is bad and nothing we do it good enough.

God sees that we are human and we do sin. He loves us and forgives us for who we are and wants to show us the glory of His word and His way.

It really is a no brainer for me! I choose GOD!! Every time!! It is not easy to fight those feelings and negative thoughts but the more I flex those muscles the quicker I can bounce back with a Godly response to satan when he challenges me.

A friend gave me this verse when I was fighting those feelings (Thank you Courtney). It is SO true! It spoke to me and when I read it, I knew who our fight is really against.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

I wonder, how do I stay humble with out becoming a doormat. How to I speak up for myself without justifying myself or making putting my needs above someone else. Mrs. Janet answered that question and now it is so clear!! 

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15

God wants us to speak the TRUTH in LOVE! I can tell someone how I feel; with love. My mother always told me (and I am yours did too) "If you cannot say anything nice, don't anything at all!" How true should that really be?!?!? It is ever more true for me now!

Why give those small digs at someone? Does it really make you feel better? "Well if you wouldn't have do that..." "Gosh, I cant believe you..." " Ok fine I will do it then..." (I am going to openly admit; that one is big for me.) I have made myself more aware of saying to Brandon (or anyone!), "Ok, fine then....I will do it. I should have done it to begin with....." When I say that, it hurts him. He wont say it does but it would hurt me! Now instead of setting myself up for failure, I will say "if he doesn't get to it, I will do it." Or I will just go ahead and do it myself instead of letting it get to that point.

Ok, now I am rambling.

Humility:

Mrs. Janet it gave the BEST definition for this confusing word. Humility isn't thinking bad about your self, it is thinking of yourself less often and about others more!! I love it and it speaks for its self!

I hope this all made sense and I made my point (how ever many there were).

Have a very blessed day friends and try and be more humble and have more humility!!!

Remember "Blessings follow obedience!"

My thoughts...

Yesterday in Sunday School, Mrs. Janet spoke about treating our life as a prize; about not taking it for granted, what does having your life as a prize mean to you and how living like it is a prize from God would change the way you spent your time.

I have been thinking about it and I know that each and everyday I try and stay in the present moment with Landen. Even if he is screaming, and throwing a fit. It is a moment that we will never get back and I try to learn something from it. God has blessed me beyond measure with a beautiful, healthy son and knowing he will, 99.9% sure because accidents happen and God may have other plans, be the only child of mine makes it even more important to me to cherish every moment, good and bad. [I do love it when I ask him who's momma I am, and he says "my momma". I tell him, "that's right baby, I am only your momma" - that is a special thing.] Yesterday when he got up from his nap, he sat beside me on the couch and fell back asleep, for about 1 hour. He NEVER does that!! So even thought I had laundry to do, food to cook and what ever else, I sat there and enjoyed that moment with him. I remember that he was making me sweat and he was snoring. :) A moment that makes my heart oh so happy.

I also stay in the moment with Brandon. I will be humble towards him and put his feelings and needs above my own. I think that is key to having a happy and healthy marriage. To put someone else above your self; that is not an easy thing to do. But if he is doing things to make me happy and I am doing things to make him happy.....you cant go wrong. :) Brandon is a very special man. I love my whole family with my whole heart. I am truly blessed and lucky.

The sermon yesterday was about forgiveness.

Forgiveness - that is a tough word to swallow. When someone sins against you and hurts your heart....it is not easy to forgive them. BUT What I learned yesterday is a moment to remember.

Matthew 6:14 says, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

Whoa - ok, so God wants us to fogive others as he has forgiven us. If you cant do that, you wont make it into heaven; hello wake up call! As I was sitting there in service I was thinking of what I needed to forgive others of.  I cant be sure that they will forgive me; but that doesnt matter. God forgives us for our sins, why should we not forgive others?

Man, God is sure teaching me so much....  Have a blessed day friends!

A follow up:

I blogged about my problem. I blogged about the answer God gave me. Now I am blogging about how my feelings have changed.

I was feeling heavy this morning with worry about my feelings.

I am thankful that God and I have had a talk.

I will love that person right where they are in life. I will pray for them.  I will love them as the Lord loves me; unconditionally!! there isn't anything that i can do to earn his love; except repent!  I will turn my nervousness and anxiety into prayer. I will always trust in the Lord because he will provide for my heart.

 "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Matthew 22:36-39 NIV.

Satan had a hold of me this morning and was making me think that I wasn't worthy and that my friendship wasn't going to work out. Satan was trying to pull me down with negative thoughts!!  Oh no he didn't! My God saves!!!!

God has reassured me that if I trust in him and give it all to him; he will provide!!!! 

May His will be done!!!

 3 blogs in 1 day!!  Wow!! God is great! ;-)

Ok Lord...I hear you!!! :)

"Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Ps. 62:8...Do not let unexpected problems distract you from My Presence. Instead, talk with Me about everything, and watch confidently to see what I will do. Make Me your Refuge by pouring out your heart to Me, trusting in Me at all times.~Jesus Calling~

Whats weird (well not werid; more like Jesus speaking to me) is right after I wrote my blog, I saw this.....  I had just poured out my heart to Jesus in my "humble" blog (less than 5 minutes had passed) and he answered me. Its an awesome feeling to be able to see His answers even in the most unexpected places!

Humble...

A while back I was faced with needing to be humble above all else. I was in a situation that had my emotions all wrapped, tangled up and bruised. What I wanted to do is justify myself. I wanted to let that person know what I felt, why I felt it and what they did to make me feel that way.  I was convinced that my way was right. That what I was wanting to do was the right way; until Mrs. Janet metaphorically "slapped me in the face". She reminded me that Jesus wants us to be humble! 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. - Philippians 2:3-4

Being humble is a very hard thing to accomplish; especially when your emotions are attached to the situation/person and your ego has been bruised.

But I did it. I pushed my selfish, justifying emotions aside and apologized from the depth of my heart.  I must admit, that it was a first for me but a wonderful uplifting thing to do. It healed my heart. Once I apologized for the things that took place, even if at first I didnt see it as my fault, somehow in admist of all that I was able to forgive. It felt great to do that.

Ok, so now that I have said that....I want to say this. What do I do when the other person doesn't see it the way you do? When they aren't acting humble and don't return the favor? That part really stinks. I am struggling with it right now. I remind myself that Jesus says "do nothing out of selfish ambition", so....I shouldn't worry about my feelings and how that person treats me....or should I...wait, I don't really know what He would want me to do. Would he want me to ignore my feelings and be sensitive to the other person? Because His word says 'but even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. -1 Peter 14". So I am being torn with my heart and my emotions. I want, like anyone, have the feelings reciprocated.

Oh, I could go on and on about this!! But I am just not sure how to put the feelings into words yet. This is going to a huge challenge for me. Something that I know will make my soul better, wise and closer to Him when I have conquered it. I am thankful that God is on my side and will guide me through the darkest paths. 'His word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path'. With him, I will be able to do this. I pray that God will help the other person see this as well. I will pray these powerful verses.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me. - Philippians 14-18

(Ok, this verse just answered my questions. Thank you God for coming to my rescue so quickly and giving it to me in a way that I can clearly see!!)

Have a blessed day friends. :)

My Attention

I kinda do and I kinda don't feel like writing a blog, so as I write, maybe I will find out why I don't wanna write!

I have a lot on my mind and I am trying to focus my attention where it needs to be....on the Lord first and then my family.

It is not an easy task to focus on the Lord first when your family is physically there and needing your attention. Sure, I think of the Lord all day long but here lately that isn't enough. I have been thinking of making a prayer box(thanks to a wonderful idea from Jennifer Newsham). I have been wanting to do it for about 2 weeks, but never got around to actually getting the supplies. Yesterday after work, Landen and I went to walmart and I got them! Index cards, a index box and index dividers. I was so excited to start writing down prayers!!  After working in the nursery last night, I came home and sat down at the table and started writing.

When people ask you to pray for a certain thing, how often do we forget? I have great intentions of remembering but 'life happens' and I don't remember for very long. I have a card for each person that I want to pray for. Every day I will pull out a few cards and pray.

I need to start setting my time out for the Lord each day. I use to do it but then got distracted by other things, not good, I know. This morning I woke up fine, but as the morning went on I felt myself getting short with Landen and not understanding the way I usually do. I had a short fuse and feel just...blah...and that is a huge sign that the Lord is far from me. I still feel blah and have no excuse for it except that I need to get close with Jesus again.  I need him to replinish my soul.

Sure I could say that I am blah because Landen woke up at 445, or my abdomen is cramping, or today at work is going to be busy or there is so much to do, or that everyday when Landen comes home from daycare he has a bite mark (yesterdays was bad)... but hey, 'life happens'!!! I know that once I set my heart and eyes on the Lord, I will be back to the way I want....ful with joy and at peace with everything.

So, that is why I don't wanna write...because I feel guilty that I have let my relationship with the Lord fall to the waist side'. I am going to focus on the following quote and let the Lord take over.

Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.~Catherine Marshall

Have a greatly blessed day friends.

Good Morning Friends

I have not blogged since Friday and it sure isn't for lack of words. ha ha. I have been so busy at work and when I get home it is all about my baby boy and husband. (I hardly ever blog at night.) [Beware: at the end of this blog, there are two pictures of my insides from my laproscopy....if you get grossed out by that kind of stuff I would suggest not looking! That is my warning to those who do get grossed out; Im sorry!!]

This weekend was great! Landen had a great time at Ethan's 2nd birthday party. He was going down the "big boy" slides by himself. You know, the slides that are covered and curved!! He loved every second of it. There is nothing scared him! Then the Mann's came over for dinner and the boys played there hearts out! They loved playing in the pool and sprinkler. I enjoyed hanging with my friends and seeing Landen so happy.  Sunday I woke up in a lot of pain, I got Landen and I ready enough to look decent to go to Sunday school and then we can home to relax. I love my Sunday school class. Not only is everyone so nice, welcoming and inspiring....but the lessons always touch close. I love it when Jesus speaks to me; even when I don't think I need it!  Landen and I cut church short, went home and got into out pajamas and just hung out with each other. It was a wonderful feeling; even though I was hurting badly; relaxing with my boys is great soul medicine.

Monday I was still in a lot of pain, so I called my doctor and her nurse told me that it was my birth control pills that was causing me to hurt and to wait until my 2 month follow up appointment to see her again. I couldn't believe that she said that; because she had told me 1 week before my surgery, that ultimately removed my appendix, that my birth control pills wouldn't cause pain, they would help cramping. I sat there in disbelief and wanted to throw up; then I wanted to cry. I was in a lot of pain and she didn't seem to care. So that was it. I called and got an appointment with a new doctor (September 12). It is a new doctor and sooner than my follow up appointment; so I will take it. So Tuesday Brandon and I decided that I wouldn't take the birth control pills anymore to see if that is in fact the case. I mean, it couldnt hurt, right?  Tuesday I still cramped and this morning is no different. I will give it 1-2 weeks off the birth control before I call that doctor back and bug her!!!

I have had these pictures from my surgery for a long time....just never shown them. I thought that some of you may be interested to see what the inside of a human looks like...I know that I was intrigued (maybe I am not grossed out because it is my body...if it was someone elses body, I may be grossed out) So...if you dont want to look at them....dont scroll down any further!! 



That white with red vains tube looking thing that her stick is poking  is (or was) my appendix



My appendix is in the corner and the white thing (it is suppose to be white) is an ovary

Thankful its Friday!

This morning before we even got out of bed, I sang the Friday song (just a song I made up that expresses how happy I am that it is Friday, nothing to fancy, it actually only has about 4 different words that I sing over and over along with a silly dance)!! 

I have come up with an idea to help me keep track of my "pain situation". I am in pain a lot and at different times in the day, I get nauseated a lot and at different times in the day. When people ask how I am feeling, I say that I am ok and really I guess I am (I don't think that I am dying.)  I say that I am ok because I am so use to the pain, I kind of don't realize it anymore unless it gets really, really sharp or I am not busy and can focus on it. That sounds weird but life goes on and I have to as well.

I have started a "pain journal". I listed all that has happened leading up to this point and what my doctor has said. That way when the pain gets sharp or when I get nauseated, I can track it. So when my doctor ask me, "how is the pain?" I will be able to show her instead of saying "its off and on". (Thanks to my mother for that helpful tip!)

Friday is trash day!!  Brandon and I have noticed, probably about 5 months ago, that we are "trashy people". Trash gets picked up every Friday. By Saturday it seems we already have about 2 bags in there! I guess I like to throw stuff out!!  Our can is always overloaded!! Maybe we need to cut down on that.

This weekend we are going to a birthday party for Ethan, he is turning 2! That is exciting but makes me realize that Landen is only 3 months behind him....EEEKKKK My baby will be 2 in 3 months!! NONONONO! That is going to be harder than him turning 1.

Saturday we are hanging out with Randi, Kris and Ethan. They moved away about 3 months ago and I'm excited to visit and catch up. :) 

This weather being above 100 (reaching 109 degrees) is RIDICULOUS!!!!  It is really miserable. Getting into my car from work, it feels like my skin is burning off!! It burns your eyes and takes your breath away!! God, please give us some relief from this harmful heat wave.

Friends, Have a wonderfully blessed weekend.

Tootles!