Clearing My Mind

I want to let you all know that I wrote this blog yesterday. I just didn't publish it....not sure why I didn't; I felt unfinished about it. The issue at hand was still very much on my mind last night, and this morning. I read this morning's Jesus Calling devotion, and while it was great, I decided to pick a different one. I  scrolled through and page 143  (the actual page number) jumped out at me. Like I was seeing it in bold print. So, I read it. First please read my blog so you know what was on my mind.

**************************************************************

For the longest time now, I have been feeling conviction for my "planning issues". It first started when God lead me to this verse in BSF:

Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is - Ephesians 5:15-17 

It struck me deeply. To use my time wisely, not unwise.  So I started thinking of my time and how I choose to use it.

Just typing this gives me anxiety because I have yet to conquer the feeling of conviction...meaning I have some work to do. Maybe blogging about it will help sort it out in my mind. Bear with me!

Between:

• Quality time with Landen, not cleaning or doing anything except spending time with Landen.
• Time set aside for cleaning, laundry, organizing and extra household chores.
• Meal planning, cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner
• Time for me to have one on one time with My Maker
• Having quality family time when Brandon gets home
• Time for myself

There are a LOT of things that I do. It seems that my Mother Day's Out days are full of me running ragged trying to get as much stuff as I can done before 2:30.....and still feeling that I am neglecting something or someone - myself.

I guess I could try and lower my clean house standards.....yeah right! That isn't gonna happen. Maybe I can find a few days to be ok with a less clean house to do something else. Maybe I can....maybe I can....

I want to have a home cooked lunch for Landen every day a good meal and a good meal for my family but most weeks I don't get around to planning meals for grocery days.

What I need to do is pray specifically for God to show me where my time is needed most.

************************************************

Ok friends....here is the bomb God dropped on me this morning from Jesus Calling, May 16

I AM YOUR LORD! Seek Me as Friend and Lover of your soul, but remember that I am also King of Kings - sovereign over all. You can make some plans as you gaze into the day that stretches out before you. But you need to hold those plans tentatively, anticipating that I may have other ideas. The most important thing to determine is what to do right now. Instead of scanning the horizon of your life, looking for things that need to be done, concentrate on the task before you and the One who never leaves your side. Let everything else fade in the background. This will UNCLUTTER YOUR MIND, allowing  Me to occupy more and more of your consciousness.

Trust me to show you what to do when you have finished what you are doing now. I will guide you step by step, as you bend your will to Mine. Thus you stay close to Me on the path of Peace. Proverbs 19:32; Luke 1:79

PRAISE you Lord. for directly answering my prayer to have a uncluttered mind - which I have bolded in case you missed it!! The past few weeks have felt crazy in there!  I am so thankful that our God is so personal!!  He is mine! Attending to my every need. Caring about ME! I am so loved and cherished. I AM CHOSEN and He will protect and help his children when they ask!

PRAISE YOU LORD!!!!

Reacting in the Spirit

Ok, here is the deal. I had an experience this afternoon that really tested me. When it was over, I told a friend that I passed the test. The devil tried and tried very well to interrupt me and cause me to react in the flesh.

A guy whom I had never met disrespected me, my son, my sister and my niece and nephew. He cursed  directly to me around my son. He was belligerent and obnoxious. He disregarded my parenting towards Landen.

The whole time I felt choked. I had many thoughts going through my head. Like how could he, how dare he, who does he think he is, so on and so forth.

Finally I grabbed Landen and told my family good bye and we left.

I was shaking. Uncomfortable. I felt disrespected. This had never happened before and I really didn't like it. The world is a cruel place and for my son to be in direct hit of this man, was unacceptable.

I chose not to say anything because I couldnt say anything nice! I felt the Holy Spirit inside me, and working though me. I was thinking of Him the whole time. He kept me calm on the outside, as I was trying to be calm on the outside. I know this person needs Christ and maybe I was the one God put in his path for a higher purpose.

Landen and I told him goodbye and we left.

I feel that God put this man on my radar for a purpose. I have added him to my prayer list.

I remember him saying to me that he had a lot of drama in his life and to excuse his behavior. I will not. I will not excuse his behavior. I will however invite him to church. I will extend the invitation to let him know the one person that can help him.

So, the main point to this blog is to let you all know that MY GOD ROCKS!! But you already knew that!

I grabbed my kindle and had to remove my Jesus Calling book to get it. I decided to reread today's message to see if it related to the events of today because I had honestly forgotten what it has said. I was astounded. This is what it said:

"I am training you in steadiness. Too many things interrupt your awareness of Me. I know that you live in a world of sigh and sound, but you must not be a slave to those stimuli. Awareness of Me can continue in all circumstances, no matter what happens. This is the steadiness I desire for you.

Don't let unexpected events throw you off course. Rather, respond calmly and confidently, remembering that I am with you. As soon as something grabs your attention, talk with Me about it. Thus I share your joys and problems; I help you cope with whatever is before you. This is how I live in you and work through you. This is the way of Peace."

I am so grateful for My God!   He is so personal for me. I am thankful He was with me and allowing me to react in the Spirit not in Flesh!

AMEN!!!!

With His help

Yesterday I blogged about sharing my chair with God. It was very inspiring! Through out the day, I could feel His presence with me!

Today was BSF (it went great). When Landen went down for nap, I sat down to complete today's questions. It is divided up into days, with a few questions for each day.

I opened my bible to James 3 and prayed for Him to share my chair.

Guess what? 

He came!!

It was by far the coolest feeling in my heart! To have a God that cares and comes when called!

I also got the whole front side of the paper done!!!  It was flowing from me like a broken faucet! But I stopped so that I could meet with Him again tomorrow to finish. :)

I just wanted to tell you all how AWESOME our God is!

Have a blessed day friends.

My Feminar Testimony

Healing Is In Your Hands

*Christy Nockels*

No mountain, no valley, no gain or loss we know
could keep us from Your love
No sickness, no secret, no chain is strong enough
to keep us from Your love
to keep us from Your love

How high, how wide
No matter where I am, healing is in Your hands
How deep, How strong,
And now by Your grace I stand, healing is in Your hands

Our present, our future, our past is in Your hands
We're covered by Your blood
We're covered by Your blood
How high, How wide
no matter where I am, healing is in Your hands
How deep, How strong
And now by Your grace I stand, healing is in Your hands

In all things, we know that.
We are more than conquerors.
You keep us by your love.
You keep us by your love

I have wanted to blog about this for a while, but havent thought of it when I had time to acomplish it. It is my testimony I recorded for Feminar. The extra details arent important.

Jesus Christ saved me! He can save you too - if you let Him!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwz4Kfvsm5k 

Sharing My Chair

This week I have sat down a handful of times to get my BSF worksheet done but each time I came up with just a few things to write down. I couldn't get my mind focused on the task at hand. I had a clear case of the "wondering mind".

We are starting James. I love that chapter. I have read it many times. The questions in the worksheet are great. They help you see it in a new light.

I have been heavy hearted about BSF being tomorrow and my work not being complete. Because I am not a slacker! I want to be prompt and be able to interact with the group.

There has even been a thought, of skipping tomorrow so I wouldn't have to deal with it! God just wouldn't let me do that. I love it, Landen loves it and WE NEED TO BE THERE! God spoke directly to my heart and he spoke up fast! The thought was dismissed as fast as it came into my head. :) I had one option; I had to get it done.

I decided that today I would get my errands done after dropping Landen off at Mother's Day Out and then sit down with my bible and BSF with God snuggled tight in this tiny chair beside me and we would get it done! I would sit on His lap if necessary....or He could sit on mine, which ever he prefers!

Frankly, I was tired of doing it by myself and getting nowhere!! Time to call out the big guns!

I sat down opened to James and prayed. I spoke out loud. I asked God to open my eyes, heart and mind to the questions and take my anxiety away. I asked for His help, to give me peace about the answers and be honest. While I was praying, I prayed for Landen, Brandon and my sister - along with other things.

When I was done praying (before starting my worksheet) I felt free! Free of my burdens....because I had just given them to God!

My answer to the first question that I had wrote when I first got the worksheet last week was to have a more focused prayer time. To stay focused during prayer and feel Gods response.

And do you know, He fulfilled that need for me with out me realizing I was asking for it!

So I completed my worksheet. There are a few questions left blank but I know that I don't understand them or do not have an answer. (I will work it out during class with the help of my group.)

It took me a whole 40 minutes!

I thanked God for His presence and for the valuable lesson I had just learned.

Ok.....HELLO MIRANDA!  Why haven't I been asking God to come into my heart and sit with me this whole time??

When I tried to get it done by myself, it was hard! I didn't have the answers, I felt like it was a burden and I was getting hopeless about it.

With the power of God, it was easy! It didn't take long, got a good dose of the Holy Spirit and I learned a very important lesson!

Sheesh! You would think that I would have known this! But it seems to get overlooked so often.

To actually invite the Lord into my home, heart and chair. The invitation may always stand as open but now I am encouraged to actually say the words each time! God is always with me, but there is something special about being personal with God. He is a personal God! He wants us to talk to Him.  

I think that God wants us to verbally invite His power and presence into our situations. So that we may acknowledge that we need HIM!!

I greatly enjoyed sharing my chair with the Lord this morning. I look forward to doing it more often - OUT LOUD for all to hear!

For I love the Lord and the Lord loves me!

Have a great Tuesday friends. :) 

Hey Friends!

There has been a lot happen since my last blog. Great and challenging things going in and out of my mind. I am going to try to talk about some things out with out rambling to much. :)

First of all, I have let go of a dear friend. It was a very hard decision; I felt God pressing in on me  to make this choice (to the point of making myself sick) and finally caved and took the leap of faith. It was been about 3 weeks and I have seen new things about myself. As much as I miss her, I am confident that God is with me along this journey and we are headed in the right direction! I was tired of fighting within and against myself. It is difficult to explain but there was something wrong with our friendship. I think that we were fighting against who we are trying to fit together.  I do know, is that if it is not within God's will, He will not bless it. I know that I was making her mad with my wishy washyness.  I have prayed many times that this choice of mine has turned out to be better for her too. Maybe one day we can communicate again; hopefully. But at this season in my life, it just isn't meant to be and I am now ok with that.   

I witnessed one of those husky dogs get run over and die. It was very emotional and devastating. I am a HUGE animal lover. Seeing this was something that was horrific. It happened on a Wednesday evening while we were walking the babies in the church nursery. Once it happened, my response was to run over and hug the screaming owner. He was crushed. I felt so attached to the situation, I knew that I had to do something to reach out and show that I was not just a stranger that helped. I was stranger that deeply cared and had great sympathy for him. So I left a gift basket and card along with a note that invited him to church on his doorstep. I don't know the outcome of it, but God ministers in small ways!! I have prayed for him every time I think of it, which is usually everyday. I believe that God placed me there to show him compassion and to reach out.

I have joined a BSF (bible study fellowship) group and am totally in love with it. The girls are great and the lessons I learn are pushing me more into God's lap which is AMAZING!!  But the one thing that I love more than all of that is the kids group for Landen.

Landen is learning that Jesus is his hero. That God is great and almighty. Landen has great faith that Jesus can save him from anything! I love that my child.....my child loves the Lord!! I myself have only loved the Lord for just over 1 year. But the importance in pouring my time and life into Landen is shining bright. He is so easily molded that I need to make sure he has the best and purest knowledge. Life is hard, the world is hard. Jesus is the answer! I am honored that I get to give Landen the information first hand. We are learning together! :)

I CANNOT wait for the day that Brandon and I can teach Landen as a team! That is my prayer. That mommy and daddy will unite under the reign of Jesus and teach our son the way! Until that glorious day, I will be the rock for my baby boo! (If you were to every think of me or my family, please pray for my husband and Landen's daddy's salvation. Thank you in advance.)

Ok, that is enough! I love my life, its difficult and messy but it is mine and God gave it to me for a purpose! So let it be!

God Bless ya! :)