Called Me Out

This morning started as usual. Wake up, breakfast, coffee and our Tuesday routine grocery trip. Things were going fine. Nothing great, nothing terrible. Landen and I were doing....ok.

One thing that was not ok, was my attitude. My tone. Landen was acting like a normal 2 year old (well, his normal 2 year old self) and this morning, I was letting it get the better of me. My words were stinging my ears, so I knew they were stinging his.

I didn't like it, so I knew he didn't like it. And I could guarantee that God didn't like my sour attitude.

Things progressively got worse, as I talked to my husband on the phone, my words and tone stung him. We hung up the phone and I single handley made his attitude turn from good to bad.

I was a mad little bee, just stinging everyone who got in my way.  

**sting sting sting, buzz buzz buzz**

Over nothing. There wasn't anything that happened. I was acting like my son! Being a 2 year old.

Landen and I were on our way to the splash pad to hang out with our friends, and I had a talk with God.

I repented for my attitude. I thanked him for his new compassion everyday, because He sure knows I need it! I asked him to forgive me for stinging everyone I loved dearly and to walk with me the rest of the day. Be by my side and take this anger that I was showing away from me.

My pride was shocked at what I heard from him!! Shocked!

He told me to apologize!

He said that he would walk with me, he would always be with me, but I needed to sincerely apologize out loud, to the people I had been rude too. And of course I had to do what he said. I cant tell him no!

He told me that I was acting like his little 2 year old and I need to apologize. (That is what I make Landen do! The lessons that come back to get me!! "Aww, man. For reals? Well played, God, well played!")

I think that God put that red light in my path, at that particular time just so that I could turn around and apologize to my sweet little 2 year old. Landen has great compassion, and said that he forgave me and we vowed to have a great day together with God beside us!

I called my husband and apologized. He forgave me. After I did that, it was like God said, "Thank you child. Now have a better day with me beside me." and Landen and I have been GREAT!

I set my pride aside and did what I was told to do.

*Blessings follows obeidience*

Next time I will try and not let it come to that point. I will ask for God to come along side me BEFORE I start stinging people.

Thank heavens God forgives us!!!!!!

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him. -  Lamentations 3:22-24

Melting Pot

For a while now I have been telling myself that I need to sit down a blog again. Well I am now at my kitchen table blogging because I feel that I am about to explode inside. (I m not sure what this will look like, so bear with me. It may be a melting pot.)

One of the things on my mind is how hard it is to take a family through life being the only spiritual leader. It is extraordinarily hard. A challenge that when I am not crying out to God in despair for help, I am thanking him. He sees something in me. Something that I don't at times, something that keeps me going! That in its self is inspiring. To know that God loves you enough to give you a challenge like that, and knows that you can make it through it for his glory! It is hardest when I see my husband discouraged and in need of God's grace, love and mercy. I know that God is the only one that can mend and restore him. That is when I break down, but that is when I need to grow to be my strongest!

As many of you know, I love Jesus with my whole being. Jesus is deep in my soul. He is on my mind all the time! It is like I am having a love affair with him. All day, everything I do. I wake up singing random songs about him! It is most important to teach my son the importance of God. The glory of God. The value and beauty of God against the scorned and dark world. I want to tell everyone about him. He makes me happy, very happy. (I thank him for the great parking spots!) He has done so much for me. He is faithful and will always come when called.

Last Sunday in Sunday School, we talked about idols. What takes place of your time with Jesus? Anything can be an idol. Good things can be idols; kids, jobs, hobbies. God clearly says that we shall not have idols above him, HE is our one idol. Now I am not saying I don't have idols, because surely I would clean my house or sit on the couch and watch tv than be in in his word! But it is something I intend to work on. Setting off more time with my Savior. In this dark world, I need it. I need his strength to fight my family through!

It takes effort to stay in the 'light', when we are in darkness and especially when times are good. It is easy to slip away from God, the world is like a black hole! When we are in darkness, we search for the light. When times are good, we don't search for it and we get consumed with 'things' and loose sight of His glory if we don't have a heart for Jesus. That is why it is imperative to transfer truth to the next generation.

I want to thank all of you who have prayed for us the past few days (my Sunday school class, you guys always pray for us, or via facebook post). There are some choices to be made. While I am asking the Lord which way to go, Brandon is stressed and if you could please continue those prayers, we would greatly appreciate it. I know that having you join me in the fight helps take the heavy load off my shoulders.

When people say "ask for prayer". Do it!! We need to help! Asking each other for prayer doesn't mean we are weak, it means we are coming together under God to worship him and his power, in supporting each other! We weren't meant to fight this battle alone.

Have a great day friends!

I trust you...

I am taking care of you. Trust Me at all times. Trust Me in all circumstances. Trust Me with all your heart. When you are weary and everything seems to be going wrong, you can still utter these four words, "I trust you, Jesus." By doing so, you release matters into My control, and you fall back into the security of My everlasting arms.

Before you arise from your bed in the morning, I have already arranged the events of your day. Every day provides many opportunities for you to learn My ways and grow closer to Me. Signs of My Presence brighten even the dullest day when you have eyes that really see. Search for Me as for hidden treasure. I will be found by you.

Proverbs 3:5  Deuteronomy 33:27  Jeremiah 29:13

This is from my Jesus Calling book on March 30. I tabbed it and for the past few days I have been rereading it. Each time it seems to fit me more perfectly.  I wanted to share it with you all because it is a great passage.

It has released the grip that my human desires have had on me and has allowed me to rest in His arms comfortably once again.

I am so very thankful for a God that never leaves us, once we are His, we are His forever. Amen!

Proverbs 3:5 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.

Deuteronomy 33:27 - The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlastin arms. He will drive out your enemies before you, saying, ‘Destroy them!’

Jeremiah 29:13  -You will seek me and find me when you seek me with you whole heart.

Legacy List to Live

At our Sunday School ladies night, Mrs. Janet asked us a question, "If today were your last day on earth, are you leaving behind all that you want to? If not, what are the thing that you want to leave behind? What do you want people to know about you? Your husband, your children? " 

We went over what we wanted to leave behind and let me tell you; ladies that I have around me, they are remarkable!! Mrs. Janet suggested that we write them down. Make a list, a "legacy list". A list that we can be reminded of each day of what our purpose is. A small, short list to keep us on track.

I fell in love with this idea. I want to call my list, "Legacy List to Live". I am going to print it out and put a copy in my bible, a copy in my devotional book, a copy in my wallet and maybe a copy of it as a background on my phone.

I have been thinking about that question a lot. What do I want on my list? What does my heart speak to others? What do I want my heart to speak to others, if it already doesnt? To my child, to my husband, to my family, friends?

I am beyond encouraged by this. Maybe you will be too.

*Be Blessed*

Legacy List to Live: (still a draft, subject to change)

Obedience child of God

Faithful wife and mother

Stay Present

Respectful

Thankful

Kicked Out

Today I got that call! The call that I never dreamt I would get....ok well, at least not for a while! The call from the "principle" saying "Mrs. Allbright, we have your son in the office and he is still misbehaving, please come pick him up."

For a while now, Landen has been getting bad reports from his teachers. He hasn't been listening, been in time out chair and in the office. I was told on Tuesday that if he didn't start acting better, then he wouldn't be able to come back. Last night I told Mrs. Janet that if that happened, this wasn't the place for him. *this is my crystal clear sign*

He was placed in the 3 year old room because of his size, compared to the other kids. Looking at them, they all look like they are about to turn 4....but lets not forget Landen has the mind of a 2 year old, and I think his teachers have done just that.

He has a short attention span, he is hyper and is everywhere all of the time....HE IS 2. His teachers get mad at him and give bad reports because he doesn't sit in his time out chair. That time out chair in against the wall....facing all the kids.....who would sit there!? Not a rambunctious 2 year old! His teacher gets mad when he doesn't tell her what he did wrong....he is 2. He gets distracted and plays with items around him, they don't like that.

Wait a minute, did we forget, he is 2!

My child is fine! He minds when I am around because I make him. That place isn't the right spot for Landen at this time.

They want him to behave a certain way but have not shown the skill, effort or compassion in order for Landen to succeed.

Now we wont miss all those play dates that are scheduled for Tuesday and Thursdays!! :)

When we got home I told Landen that we would be going back to that school, he looked at me and said "teachers mean". 

I gave him a big bear hug and thanked the Lord for this blessing.

Thank you Lord.

Hanging On

This is right where I am at the moment.

Hanging On - Britt Nicole

You see my anxious heart
You see what I am feelin'
And when I fall apart
You are there to hold me

How great Your love for me
Now I see what You're thinkin'
You say I'm beautiful
Your voice is my healin'

Without You I just can't get by
So I'm

Hangin' on to every word You speak
'Cause it's all that I need
Hangin' on to every word You say
To light up my way

Even every little whisper
I'm hangin' on as if it were my life
I'm hangin' on

And when the darkness falls
I can't see what's before me
Your voice is like the dawn
Always there to guide me

Without You I just can't get by
So I'm

Hangin' on to every word You speak
'Cause it's all that I need
Hangin' on to every word You say
To light up my way

Even every little whisper
I'm hangin' on as if it were my life
I'm hangin' on

You know me better than I know myself
Better than anybody else
Your love is soundin' like a ringin' bell
Oh, oh, I won't let go

Hangin' on to every word You speak
'Cause it's all that I need
Hangin' on to every word You say
To light up my way

Even every little whisper
I'm hangin' on as if it were my life
I'm hangin' on

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRgEO40glG8

The Stirring

There has been a blog going on in my head for the past week or so. The words are jumbled and don't quiet make sense. When I sit down to blog, I cant figure out which topic to write about, because they are all so good. I think I will start off by talking about being stirred, more specifically; me being changed in God's image. There are many changes taking place within me. The most important one is that I am growing closer and closer to the Lord. Beind stirred is quiet uncomfortable. It brings anxiety, which leads me to lean on the lord. It leads me to reprioritize; which leads me asking the lord for guidance. It places the lord exactly right where he is suppose to be; at the top of my mind, my motives, everyday, though all things, in every situation. To top it off, I am reading Radical. Man, that book has sparked something on fire within me. I cannot put my finger on it BUT the Lord knows what it is and I've asked him to bring it out. He has given me many ideas, that I'm putting into action. (Because I wouldn't dare hear from the lord and ignore him!!!) And dare I say, a vision of the future. It is a miraculous thing; to be in the presence of the lord. I want to cry often because of his glory and all he loves me for and has taught me. And continues to show me and give mercy and grace for. Where he leads, I will follow. Even if it is uncomfortable for my flesh. Just like today. I asked him for an answer last night (a clear answer) and he gave it. The answer wasn't the "easy or most desired" one for my flesh but he knows best for me....so I'll follow. For now, that is all. Pray and listen for him, friends. *Be blessed*