Weekend Madness

Sunday morning, we woke up at 5:00 (thank you Landen) and so I worked out, L and I went for a jog (as soon as it was daylight out) and cooked breakfast, cleaned house (again) and got dressed. By the time church came, I was exhausted.

Here is my "very not so proud moment": I knew that I was going to stay in the nursery for about 15 minutes while the other teachers went around and asked for volunteer help from the Sunday school class. If you don't know by now, I love my Sunday school class. It gets so personal with God word. I need that class every week and this week I was looking forward to it because I could feel my attitude sinking. So, my mother and I get to the nursery and the teachers left.  Time passes and time passes. The more time passes the more I can feel my mind getting worse. I hated that feeling that I had in my heart. It was definitely satan making me feel bad about missing out on what I wanted to do. I thought that I would have only been in there for 15 minutes and I would get to be in my Sunday school class.....boy was I sinking. I tried telling my self that I needed to stop being selfish, but it didn't work. I played with the kids and tried to look happy.... What was I doing? I was wallowing in my self pity. So what if I missed one day of Sunday school. I needed to be where I was. So after about 40 minutes I came to terms with the fact that I was not going to go to Sunday School class.

I am a planner, always have been. If I make plans, I want to stick with them. I want to know what is happening. I get my self worked up for something and when it doesn't work out, I get upset, even if it is the simplest thing, like not going to the grocery store when we planned to. I want to be prepared for the situation ahead of me. I know yesterday was one of His test for me.

In the nursery I asked Jesus to please give me sign that I was meant to be here and that the service will be enough for my heart. Please take this dwelling feeling away from me and show me the righteous path. Right after I prayed, Landen went to the bath room door and said "pee pee". We put him on the potty and he pee peed. YAY!!! A very proud moment that I am so glad I was there to see. :)

I was reading a book last night and something jumped out at me.

"Our lives are not random. Everything in our lives is put there by God."

I think that sometimes we see His blessings as inconveniences; like I did yesterday. I was caught up in my self and the fact that I wanted to be in Sunday school class that I over looked what He was trying to teach me. I feel bad for theway I felt but I am more proud that I overcame the negative feeling and beat satan, I just wish it didn't take me as long as it did.....next time He has a test for me, I will be quicker on my feet!

Thanks for listening to my confession.  Have a greatly blessed day.