Our Balloon Race!

Yesterday my mother asked if I wanted to take Landen into town early this morning to show him the balloons? Of course I said yes, what a great idea!!  So this morning, we left my house at 630, we were off to find the balloons!

Usually they are seen around 259, so we went there. No balloons. Usually you can see them down town, so we went there. No balloons. So after 30 minutes of me driving around promising Landen that he would see balloons before he went to daycare, I couldn't find them. :( I was already planning my apology to him when his daddy called. He was at work across town and he said "WHOA!! They are everywhere here! Where are you and have you seen them?" I told him our disappointment and he told us where to go.

DADDY TO THE RESCUE!

So we raced (safely of course) over there and it was like we hit the jackpot; there were about 40 of them!  All over the place; some high, some low, in front of us and behind us! There was a clown, a cat, a bumble bee, a bear and lots of regular shaped ones. They were participating in a game or something. They were lined up and each taking a turn throwing a ball down. Landen didn't to much like the noise it made when they lit their fire, he would grab a hold of me just a little tighter! Ha ha ha.

Landen was in awe of them. This is his first year to actually understand what is happening. I am so glad that I did not have to apologize for my lack of direction!  :)

(I got pictures but haven't had a chance to put them on the computer yet. I will post them when I get a chance.)

I hope you all get a chance to see them. We are not going out to the actual balloon race because we cant stand the 105+ degree weather. If you are brave enough, it is really cool! The last we went was when I was big and pregnant.

Have a blessed Friday and enjoy your weekend. I think we may hit up the Longview Kennel Dog Show this weekend at Maude Cobb, Landen will forsure love that!

Prayers Please.

This morning a dear friend had her baby, at 33 weeks. Sweet Audrey weighs 4 pounds, 8 ounces and is 17.5 inches long. Please pray for her strength to eat and breath on her own.

I am still in pain...it isn't fun!! I don't really feel like talking about it much because I don't have answers to the questions I want answered. All I know is that I am badly cramping and I get nauseated off and on. I know that I get sick to my stomach because of the pain. My back hurts and my front hurts. lol I just keep pushing through. No matter how much I would like to lay in the bed and not do anything, I cant. Life goes on and maybe it is just me, but I cant quit because I hurt....people count on me!  I hate that I am "use to hurting" and this is my normal now.  So, that is me....a hurting woman with no answers.

Sunday I will start 21 days, of antibiotics, taking them twice daily. My doctor is guessing, yes I said guessing, that my uterus has an infection. Crazy to think that if this is it, I have had an infection in my uterus for 8 months!! Not good!

If this doesn't work, then we will look into other options.

She said that the laproscopy did not show any endometriosis, but she told me Monday that there could be endometriosis inside my uterus!! WHAT!!!  That is crazy and scary!

Today, could you please say a prayer for little Audrey? That God will guide the doctors and give the ability to send her home as soon as possible. Pray that God will be with the Lawson family during this tough time.

Also, would you please say a prayer for me and my uterus. That it will give up this battle, I'm tired of fighting!! :)

Have a Blessed and Wonderful Day.

No matter how hard it is raining on your parade, always look for God's light that is shining through!

Its like my "dad week"!

This week has been full of visits with my dad. Sunday I visited with my dad for about 7 hours! Monday we had lunch, Tuesday he came over after I got off work and visited with Landen and I. Landen loves to play with him, although Landen wore him out! he he he. And today, I am meeting Casey, my half sister, and my dad for lunch.

Before I decided to forgive my dad (just a month ago), I never could of imagined that seeing each other would be so "natural". I still have hesitation about it and still not ready to open up 100% BUT I don't feel any negative feelings towards him. (Wheat to know the secret to my new found happiness...its GOD!!! He has touched every piece of my heart and its AMAZING!!)  I enjoy seeing my dad, I love watching him with Landen and I know that my dad loves spending time with Landen too. It is cool to learn what kind of person my dad is. Ive never experienced the "father daughter" relationship. Ours is still far from it but it is a start. :)  I feel like this week, while he is in town I need to see him as much as I can. Because I know that when he leaves it will be a while before I see him again.

I thank God for giving me the courage and strength to fogive my dad. To see that I can not keep the bitterness between us in my heart. Everyone makes mistakes and I cannot control what they do, but I can control my heart. I do not want that piece of hatred to infect other areas of my heart. I don't like what my dad did and I am very cautious about the chances of him doing it to Landen BUT I cant live my life always worried about "what if". Landen has me and Brandon guide him and teach him. I cant not protect him from everything (no matter how I would like to).God is in control and will take care of me. He knows the plan for my dad and I. Ive got to give it a chance. So that is what I am doing. Opening myself up for the possible new relationship, and so far so good. :)

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.   - Colossians 3:12-15



A weekend of great beginnings

This weekend was full of great beginnings for the Allbright family. I am in awe of how God works in our lives (and how he works within me) everyday.

Saturday was a busy day, went to see my great grandmother, in the nursing home in Whitehouse. She is an amazing lady. I love her and don't go see her nearly enough. Saturday afternoon Brandon, Landen and I went to our Sunday School Swim Party!! About 1 month ago, I asked Brandon if he would think about going. He told me that he would because it meant a lot to me (thank you babe). So we went and as soon as Landen saw the pool....I couldn't keep him out of it. I am thankful for all the sweet friends who helped me with him in the pool. We took turns holding and playing with him. He loved everyone! Jon would through him up high in the air and catch him...HE LOVED IT!! The funniest thing: I put him on the side of the pool and asked him to jump to me....well he jumped straight up and landed on his bottom...on the sidewalk! Not what I had in mind...ha ha ha...thankfully it didn't hurt him.  He was definitely the class clown, making everyone laugh! He was well behaved and we had a great time! Brandon also had a great time. He felt more comfortable than he thought he would. I am sure he had some preconceived notions about what it would be like, and I am glad to report that it was better than he thought!

Sunday was a very big day...for two reasons! I got baptized :) and my dad and I would see each other for the first time since I was pregnant (and before that it had been like, ummmmm probably years... I cant remember the last time I saw him before that.) So, my nerves were at their highest! I wasn't nervous about being baptized, it was all for my dad.

Sunday school was amazing, thank you Mrs. Janet! My mother came up to the dressing room to help me get ready to be baptized....I didn't expect her to but I am SO glad she did! :) I wasn't made aware of who would be baptizing me until about 5 minutes before it started. I was so happy to learn it was Brother Steve! :) He is one awesome man. I felt very honored that he would be the one. My mother kept saying, "I can see Brandon down there, can you?" I couldn't because I didn't have my glasses on and it was all a big blluuuurrr! LOL.

When Brother Steve told me to walk into the water, I wasn't nervous, when the music stopped and I wasn't nervous. I was fine until he started talking about a friends testimony (Haley) and me being saved...then boom - the tears started flowing. I didnt care, it was natural and my heart was full of joy!! He asked me who I took as my personal savior... I looked at him with tears in my eyes and running down my cheek and said "Jesus Christ" and he dunked me. That was it! I walked out a new woman, it was awesome!!

Sweet Haley came up and said congrats and took pictures (she is so great). I got dressed as quickly as I could because I was suppose to meet Brandon at the exit to say good bye (because the plan was for him to leave then, He did me a HUGE favor in coming to see that moment, I understood that he would want to leave).  But when I got to the door, Brandon wasn't there. My mom said, maybe he is going to stay. My heart leaped out and when I walked into the chapel, there he was!! :) It was a huge moment for us. For him to be courageous enough to stay. It really means the world to me.  I soaked up every moment of having my husband in church with me, even if it was for that one day. I prayed that Jesus would speak all he had on to Brandon's heart while he was in the House of God.

After church, my dad came over to our house. He and I were both really nervous but it just came so naturally. I didn't have to force a smile on my face, or pretend that it was ok. It just felt good. We laughed and talked. When Landen woke from his nap, my dad just knew what to do. He played with my son so naturally. It really touched my heart to see that. Landen loved him!  We did some errands and ate lunch. Came back to our house and he stayed for dinner. I really enjoyed getting to know him. He is a very smart man. He is funny and honest. My sister and her babies came over and it was just a big gathering! We were all sad that my half sister had to work. I enjoyed every moment! Although our disposal broke and that was crazy, Brandon went and got another and replace it within 30 mintues! It didn't bother me at all, I was wrapped up in the moment of my dad being here and enjoying that moment. Because it may be a while before it happens again.

I thank God for giving me that ability to have an open heart towards my dad. Thankful that I got the chance to start new. I think that this is the start of a beautiful thing. He left at 730, and I put 119 pictures on a disc for him! LOL I had to document it all!! 

[Today I go see my obgyn, please pray that she doesn't shut me off and say that it is just my period being messed up by the birth control pills.... I think it is something more. The things I feel and go through are not normal.]

Have a blessed and wonderful day!

Giving Thanks

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians. 5:18

Do you give thanks when bad things happen? It is easy to give thanks to the Lord when everything is going great. When your life is going smoothly.

It is when we hit that bump and get knocked off course that we see the true challenge. When we get bad news, or something tragic happens....are we still able to give thanks to the Lord?

He knew that it would happen to us and he knows what will happen when we over come it.

He doesn't let bad things happen to us so that we suffer. He gives us those things to challenge us, to make us stronger. He knows what each and everyone of us is capable of...He wouldn't go any further than that.

If you are going through something that you think "this is going to break me", "why me", "I cant do this" "why do bad things always happen to me"....don't give up!!  He wants you to rise above it and see your true potential. Dont be discouraged.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. - Proverbs 3

 

The Joy Within

Random thoughts:

All day yesterday I seemed to be anxious about something. I was not sure what it was; I wasnt excepecting anything to happen...just couldnt stop feeling anxious. I did not like that feeling at all. It was uncomfortable. 

When I got off work; I picked up my baby and went to the store. Did you know that Albertsons is playing a Yahtzee  game? Dependig on what you buy determines how many game cards you get. Sunday Brandon picked up about 10 cards. He scratched 5 and didnt win anything. It is all about luck. you have to pick which block to scratch in each row and hope all of the ones you scratched match up.....he wasnt very lucky! So I start scratching mine....just randomly picking squares and I won....twice!!  :) I got a free Dial Body Wash (when I picked it up at the store it was priced at $6!!!  Yeah, soooo over priced but it was free for me!) and the other was for two more tickets! I have about 6 I need to scratch today. Im pretty excited! he he he

I got Landen a small pizza...ok, honestly I didnt think he liked pizza...so I got one that I liked in case I was forced to eat it! lol. When we got home; we cooked it. Much to my surprise he was very patient waiting for it. He at all but like 3 peices!! He loved it!!   We then burnt off those calories by running around the house with diapers on our head....he thought it was hilarious, it was a lot of fun!!  At one point, he tore his own diaper off and ran to the bath room.....so I helped him onto the potty and he pee-peed!! :) Im such a proud momma! When daddy got home, we all made dinner and Mr. Piggy (Landen) after eating the pizza at half a plate of beef fried rice! LOL

I love spending time with my baby boy. He is amazing and I learn so much about him everyday. He fills my heart with pure joy! Everyday we spend time together. But everyday is not the same. It really depends on what mood my heart, mind and body is in. I have been trying to stay present in the moment with Landen. Each moment slips by so fast and I want to be actually be present with everyone and take as many photos as I can!!  I put more on the computer last night and for his 20 month folder (yes, I have a seperate folder for each month he has been alive, from birth to 20 months - I wonder how long I will go....until he is 18? Ha ha ha) I already have 275 pictures and about 10 videos. I love love love capturing the moments. So when this momma's heart is breaking I can go back and cry because my baby boy is growing so fast. :)

This morning I am in a wonderful mood. The joy within is just overflowing!!! I am having lunch with Mrs. Janet...so much to talk about. My Sunday School class is having a pool party this Saturday; I am getting baptized this Sunday and my dad is coming in to town to see that. It is full of new and scary but WONDERFUL things!!! 

[When I sing praise to the Lord, it fills my heart with joy and each word touches my soul. But when I raise a hand to the sky and sing with my eyes closed.....it seems SO much better!!!  And there is nothing like singing in the car, but I cant let go of the wheel and close my eyes while driving! ]

I told you this blog was full of random thoughts! 

Brandon and I created an amazing boy!

Prayers Needed Please

Just heard that my dear friends, step sister's husband died yesterday in Afghanistan.  If my prayer warrior friends would say a prayer (even a small 'popcorn' prayer) for her and his family, I know that God will hear them and their family would appreciate it. (Her name is Lauren Christian.)

Reassurance

Last night, I was reading in Psalm 40 and every thing I read, reassured me that He is with me and my "problems" arent problems at all. I kept reading and I kept having feelings of joy.  To stay focused on the Lord and everything will be just the way it is meant to be.

¹ I waited patiently for the LORD;
   he turned to me and heard my cry.
² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
   out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
   and gave me a firm place to stand.
³ He put a new song in my mouth,
   a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
   and put their trust in him.

⁴ Blessed is the one
   who trusts in the LORD,
who does not look to the proud,
   to those who turn aside to false gods.
⁵ Many, LORD my God,
   are the wonders you have done,
   the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
   were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
   they would be too many to declare.

Have a blessed and joyful day!

This is how I roll!!!

To mop a house that is 2800 square feet you need to either go big or go home!! Ha ha so I went big and it works so well!! Takes me less that 15 minutes (of course that is full speed!!)

Terrific Tuesday!!

This morning started out EARLY...(thank you Landen). At 4:50 he woke up and was moaning something fierce! Thankfully he got quiet until 5:20! lol But it works for us, so that is fine. 

This morning I finally got Landen doing his "Jesus can save you" on video. He has done it ever since he learned it last week at Super Duper Sports Camp....but I never thought to video it! Silly me! 

Speaking of the sports camp...let me share about that. Last Sunday thru Wednesday I worked in the nursery at church for the Super Duper Sports Camp. It was amazing!!! We had about 8 children and had so much fun! We read scripture, learned about Jesus, played in water, played with whip cream and even got to draw with markers on the TABLE!! lol That was awesome! They loved every thing so much! I loved everything about it! It is awesome to see children learn about and love God. They have no doubts, no hesitation...they just love him and believe in Him. :) It is so refreshing! I am excited to get to be apart of that every Wednesday night!

This morning something happened that was awesome for Landen. We were driving to daycare, just a normal ol' day. When I saw a random act of kindness that touched my heart. While sitting at a red light, a guy on a motorcycle pulled up beside us. Landen sees him and starts pointing and smiling. I turned around and was telling him what it was and then the gentleman on the bike turned his head, saw Landen through the window and started waiving!! He waived multiple times, smiling at Landen and moving his bike back and forth for Landen to see. Landen flipped out with joy!! He loved it! I loved it! That guy didn't have to waive at or show attention to Landen, he could have just went on about his day. Instead he showed kindness to a little boy in awe! That little boy was my boy.... I love that!! If I could have, I would have thanked (more than the waive I sent back to him) that man for his small but big gesture towards my son! When the light turned red, we both took off. Landen kept a close eye on that bike....when he couldnt see him any longer, he go upset. :)

Today is a cramping kind of day. :( I made an appointment with my obgyn to get this figred out! I am so tired of messed up periods, cramping all the time and her saying "it is my pills....they must not be strong enough....lets up to dosage". (I wonder at what point you break the threshhold of bleeding out! Seriously though)  I just deal with it...and that is sad. I should not have to deal with the pain and periods that last 3 weeks out of the month. Crazyness!

So....I hope today is not as busy at work as yesterday was!! Yesterday was a busy busy busy day! From the time I got here, from the time I left. It does make for the day going to faster but man :)

Have a blessed day friends.

Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith... - Hebrews 12:1-2

Fear has been BROKEN!

Ok, here it is...the blog about my journey down the aisle at church! First let me start out by telling a story that leads up to my decision to walk down the aisle (instead of doing it at the baptistery this Sunday).

Saturday, the fam and I were out and about doing family stuff (mostly errands). When I got home, I logged on to Facebook through my phone and saw that I had a new message. The message appeared to be from Holly but I thought, "surely not....must be a mistake." So I looked further and it sure was from Holly. It was a nice, simple message that asked if we were both in a place where we could start 100% new. Make a fresh start, don't bring up the past, just let God take reigns and go from there. My first reaction was "Thank you Lord, You have answered my prayers." 

Let me explain what prayers he answered; there were a LOT of prayers said and most of them....He did NOT answer. For the past few weeks, maybe a month, every time I thought about Holly, I would have "normal" thoughts. Nothing negative attached, just "I wonder how she is doing" and then I would go about my life. I would pray that God would help her see the same in me. That we could both have a "normal" relationship....with the negativity gone and just "be". So when she sent me that message....I was shocked!!

I don't know why I was shocked because I know that God is POWERFUL!! But to see it first hand, to see and FEEL his love is OUTSTANDING!!!  It reassures me of everything that I know. It isn't about the fact that Holly and I may be friends again, it is more about the fact that I trusted God and "had open hands with her" and truly gave him the control and he brought it back to me.

As Mrs. Janet always says "Blessings follows Obedience". That statement is SO true!!  

So back to my story. I told Brandon that He has answered my prayer and if he can show me that compassion (because I wanted it so badly) then I could give him what He would want....I can walk down that aisle and show that satan has NOTHING on me. I was excited (still am). When I would get nervous or anxious about it, I would remember why I am doing this. Because He has done SO much for me.....I can DO THIS for Him. :)

Sunday came and during Sunday School, I told Mrs. Janet about what had happened and why I wanted to do it. She was so proud and happy for me! She told the class that I would be walking down and for them to be praying for my strength, and legs not to give out! LOL

I told Meagan, who had graciously offered to come down with me, that I was going to do it, even if she had to drag me down there! (She said she would drag me if it came to that! ha ha ha

Before service began, I went and found Brother Steve. I told him that I had changed my mind and would be walking down....I couldn't even do that without crying! I cried when Mrs. Janet told the class about it...I cry all the time when I talk about the Lord. Maybe that means that He is so close to my heart. He has a major hold on me and it is wonderful. Brother Steve hugged me and said that it would be a great thing for me to do.

When the invitation started, I saw Meagan look back at me from the row in front of me and I took one deep breath and said "ok, lets do this"! I walked down my row, past people and out into the aisle. Meagan was right there beside me. We went to Brother Steve and he started asking me if I had accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. I shook my head yes and started crying. I cant remember all of what he said but I know it was good! I was prepared with a hand full of tissue! :) Then we all three hugged as he prayed. The whole time tears were running down my cheeks, I was trembling. Meagan and I then sat down on the front row, to wait for him to introduce me to the church family....there were two other  people who were to be welcomed to the church as well. I was glad the attention wouldn't be soley on me! Brother Steve said "Miranda, why don't you come up here". I looked at Meagan and said "why do I have to be first..ha ha". He introduced me and said that I was to be baptized next Sunday and that I am a new believer.....I was fine until he said "The Holy Spirit has a hold of her and is shaking her up big time; she is scared to death to stand here..." Then I started crying. But my friends from Sunday School and the nursery came up to stand beside me!  That was AMAZING!!

I owe a huge thank you ALL who came up!!!  It really eased my fears and nerves. It showed me that I am not alone! (Thank you Jen for putting your hand on my shoulder when we prayed....it helped calm me). 

At the end of service lot of people came up and congratulated me and welcomed me to the church as I knew they would.  When I saw Haley in the nursery (she is my dear, dear friend and the one who God choose to put it on her heart to extend a hand to me. She asked me to Feminar...where the Holy Spirit yanked me up and hasnt put me down). I have no doubt that God choose her because she is a strong amazing woman and He wanted us to become closer, which we have. She congratulated and hugged me and said that if she says anymore, she will cry. I love her! I love how we don't have to say anything, yet we know what has been said!

So... I DID IT!!  I broke the fear that satan had on me. Even though I could have done it at the baptistry, I knew that I should do this for Him. He gave his life for me.....I can do anything for Him!! He gives me incredible strength.

Now, I just need to get through the baptizum....should be a peice of cake!!

Once again, thank you all for your encouragement and support!!

Have a Wonderfully Blessed Day!

A BOMB HAS EXPLODED in our LAUNDRY ROOM

The perpetrator came and left this room like this!!!! Can you believe it?!?

Hip Hip Horray - Today is Friday!!!

First off; here is the scary story from this morning!! I was faced with Mazzie (our girl schnoodle) having another seizure. As soon as Brandon left for work, she hit the floor flopping like a fish out of water. It is very scary, for her and myself. [Dexter also has them but his are not nearly as intense.] The last time that Mazzie had one, it lasted about 40 minutes and when we took her to the emergency vet, she seemed ok. But the vet gave us "doggie valum" for when it happens again. I have had to give that medicine to Dexter once and this morning was Mazzie's first time having it. Once I called Brandon and had him come back in the house, he gave her the medicine and within 10 minutes she was calm and starting to recover. She was shaking SO bad. Every muscle in her body was tense and out of her control. All I can do is sit there and hold her tight, so that her body doesn't get to out of control. It terrifies me to think that they may have a seizure when we are not there to help them. That I may come home one day and see the worst.  The vets say that it is so hard to tell what causes them to occur, so....we are kinda left at a stand still and just praying that I am there to help. That was a very intense situation. My heart always breaks for both of them when it happens.

Right before we leave the house each morning, Landen gets to play outside.  This morning he found a 'bug'. It was more like a rolly poly. He loved it. (he loves any and all bugs!! such a boy). He watched as it crawled on my moms hand and then when it started for his hand, he tried to pull it away, but Nana wouldn't let him. He smiled so big and laughed so loudly when it got on him!!  He loved it!!  He walked around with it on his arm until we made him put it back in the leaf so we could leave! He is my total sweetness. (The corn in his hand is for the squirels. He takes a ear of corn out of the bag in the garage every morning and lays out on the grass for the squirels! He is so awesome!)

I am having lunch with Mrs. Janet today (very excited about that) and I am hoping I can resist the fact that today is my favorite cupcake day!! EEEKKKK, I hope I can because I sure don't need it. But I am pretty good at talking myself into anything! :)

This weekend we are just gonna have a lot of great family time!!!  I CANT WAIT!!!!!

Yesterday on the way home from daycare, Landen was playing with my old ear phones and decided that he would "plug in his milk". I looked back and this is what I saw! He  makes my heart burst with happiness!! I love that smarty pants so much! 

Have a Blessed Weekend everyone!

Explosive Morning!!

This morning I woke up and thought of the dirty dishes in the sink, the dirty floor and the mess of a laundry room that needed my attention. In the mornings I usually only have time to get myself ready, eat breakfast, help get Landen ready and then I have about 20 minutes to spare for whatever else may pop up.  

Unless she is off work, my mother comes by every morning to visit with Landen (and it always helps me get those few extra things done). This morning was no different. She came over about 6:40....helped get Landen dressed and what not.

I decided that I would put extra soda in the fridge. So I went to the garage and picked up the 24 pack. Brought them to the kitchen and placed them in front of the fridge. I walked away and I hear Landen say "uh-oh" along with a 'boom!'. He had only knocked them over...no big deal. I decided that they could stay there until I am ready to put them up. 

While my mom was helping pin my dress, Landen was trying to pick the 24 pack up. He was grunting and straining. It was really quiet humerus so we let him continue. He on the other hand was getting mad and fustrated that he couldn't pick it all the way up! I told him "son, you dont have to be Hercules every day". ha ha ha. So mom went to help him and noticed that there was soda leaking out of the box....'uh-oh'!!

So I opened them and every single one was bulging at the top. They looked like they were about to blow any second.

So I started handing them to my mom as she put them in the sink to find which one had busted. About half way down, I found it....it was the empty one!!

Meanwhile, Landen was stepping in the soda, looking in the box....he had to be apart of this event!!

Next thing I know, a can that is still in the box bust open and starts spraying me and Landen (who's face is in the box). I pop the top and hand it to mom!  "Shesh...disaster slightly diverted!!"

We put the cleaned off cans back on the counter to dry and cool off  and went to the laundry room to get towels.

We hear one crash to the floor and go off like a bomb!!!  We turn the corner and it is spinning like a top in the middle of the kitchen floor spraying EVERYTHING!!!  I mean EVERYTHING: including Landen, the cabinets, the fridge, the walls.....EVERYTHING!!  Landen was perfectly fine with what was happening until....Nana screamed!! She went ballistic!! LOL

I am thinking...OH NO!!!  MY BABY IS IN THERE GETTING HOSED DOWN WITH SODA!!!  Nana is thinking, OH NO!!!  HOW DO I GET THAT BABY OUT WITHOUT GETTING HOSED DOWN!!! (She wears scrubs to work and didnt have an extra pair). Right when I was about to rip off my dress and go into the battle zone, mom threw a towel over the grenade! 

"Good thinking Nana!!"

Since Nana was screaming and laughing so hard....Landen thought she was hurt! He was crying for her.. I picked him up, reassured him she was ok, moved away from the soda and took a deep breath! We sat there and laughed about the 'homemade bomb situation' and reactions we all had!! 

Now along with all the dishes in the sink, the floor is EVEN dirtier, sticky and soda filled towels and rugs filled the already messy laundry room.

Right when I was about to get overwhelmed with the things that needed to be done; Jesus wanted me to see that it wasnt that bad and I needed to relax!!! LOL

In the midst of this messy event; I learned that those things dont really matter.

Usually I would have gotten even more overwhelemed with it and over reacted. This time, I had a great time with my mom and son. It is a story that will last forever!

It was a explosive morning for sure! I am ready for this day and it is going to be a great one....a really HOT one but a great day!!

Make each day "explosive"!!

God Bless :)

Wednesday Food for Thought

Just as one litle pinch of salt can make all the difference in cooking, the light of one joyful Christian can radiate the love of Almighty God to the world.

This Past Sunday

Good morning everyone! I have been wanting to write this blog since Sunday night.....but I am just so tired! lol I am working the nursery at church for our Super Duper Sports Camp and those kiddos give me a run for my money! lol  So I am just now getting around to blogging about my experience in church Sunday.

As you know, I am wanting to be baptized. First I need to walk down during invitation and let the church know that I have taken the Lord as my Savior. As I have expressed before, that is very nerve racking for me, to say the least. A wonderful person and a friend of mine, Meagan, said that she would walk down with me when I decided to go. (Thank you Meagan). And that offer sounds great, but for me to get the nerve and do it.....well that is what this blog is about.

Let me start out saying that I did NOT walk down this past Sunday.  From the moment I walked in to the chapel, I felt over whelmed with joy and emotion. I had a sense that this Sunday was the one (even though when Meagan asked me in Sunday School if I was going to walk down, I told her no.) They had a young girl and boy get baptized, sign number 1. During the opening praise songs, they sang two songs that always make me emotional. "Our God Saves" and ""Stronger" ("Stronger" is ALWAYS a 'tear jerker' for me....), clue number 2.  The sermon was wonderful, as always. During the invitation, I felt the very powerful overwhelming urge to go down but my body would not move. My heart was beating SO fast and hard. I was shaking a lot, I was crying a little....it was an emotional disater.

I know that I need to and should let the church know that I have accepted God into my heart and want to me a member....but a force has taken over my body and wouldnt let me move. All afternoon I felt shaken up. I knew that I should have walked down that aisle, I hate that I let my anxiety and fear replace my joy for the Lord. It is a stuggle....a battle and I want the Lord to win!!!

I know in my heart that I am a changed person. I know in my heart that I have accepted God as my personal Savior. I know the joy of personally knowing the Lord.  I am not hiding from it; I am just trying to break free of the anxiety and nervousness that comes along with all my fears.

I want to be baptized on July 24th. That will be a step into making my changed heart public. On that day, someone may have to drag me there but I will do it! (ha ha ha just kidding, I will willingly but certainly not without a shaking body). I will try and hid my emotions of being anxious, I wont be able to hid the tears. 

I know my church will not judge me, they will be proud of me, they will accept me...I think what is so fearful to me is the fact that all the attention will be on me and I am making this journey alone. I dont necessarly like all the attention. So while I am trying to keep my heart from beating out of my chest, I will do it!!  When it is over, I will breathe a huge sign of relief and know that I am forever changed.

Please say a prayer for me, I would appreciate it.

Thank you for listening to me rattle.

Have a great day, God Bless!

And remember....

There is love that came for us
Humbled to a sinner's cross
You broke my shame and sinfulness
You rose again victorious

Faithfulness none can deny
Through the storm and through the fire
There is truth that sets me free
Jesus Christ who lives in me

Chorus
You are stronger! You are stronger!
Sin is broken
You have saved me
It is written
Christ is risen
Jesus You are Lord of all

No beginning and no end
You're my hope and my defence
You came to seek and save the lost
You paid it all upon the cross

So let Your name be lifted higher
Be lifted higher be lifted higher

Not Much

I dont have much to say...I am pretty much content with things! But there is this one thing that I need to say: 

Sometimes you cant live your life afraid of what other people will say, how they will react or if you will always upset them. You cant make everyone happy! You are bound to make some people less than happy. 

The one person you should be stiving to make happy is the Lord.

So if you want to do something and arent sure if it is the "right" thing to do, ask the Lord. If he doesnt give you a sign that it shouldnt be done...but rather throws an obvious "do it" sign in your face...then take the risk! He is giving you ways to grow.

TAKE THE RISK!!!!!

Being a Mom...

It isnt easy being a mom, but prayer helps - and so does laughter. And sometimes it even helps to shed a cleansing tear ot two. As someone said, tears are to the soul what soap is to the body.

Oh me, oh my

I need to "vent"!! I have a lot of things on my mind that I want to 'release'.  The other day I blogged about my "attitude funk". Well.....I hadn't really shaken it. I had in certain ways but I still showed some attitude, just ask Brandon....he can vouch for that! (ha ha sorry babe).

Friday I got off early, had a great afternoon (cleaning the house). Saturday was great at the water park!! Landen LOVED every minute of it. That boy is fearless - and when I say fearless....I mean FEARLESS!!!! It is scary! Cant take me eye off of him for one single minute, so momma was worn out!! Sunday Landen and I went to church, and in that place of worship is where I felt the burden on my heart.

I have been thinking of getting baptized, praying about it a lot. God has reassured me that it is what I need to do.

I have been talking with my dad for the last few weeks and it has been a slow start but it is a start in the right direction to our relationship growing.

Pastor Steve at my church is leaving at the end of July and I would like to be baptized with him as pastor, so my time line is limited. I know that my dad has a vacation coming at the end of July, so I asked if he was available to come to church with me on July 24th. (I hadn't told him why because I didn't want to "pressure him" into coming.) He said that his vacation starts on the 24th and couldn't make it here in time.

Ok that's cool, I thought, well Pastor Steve has one more Sunday, Ill ask my dad if he can come July 31st. I asked and he said that Casey (my half sister) and he have a cruise booked, leaving July 28th for 4 days.

He sent that to me in a message, that I read right before church service. I was emotional anyways because of "my funk", my sister had just told me she wouldnt there again and now this....

It hit my heart deeply. I know that he did not know why I was wanting him to come to church with me, and he still doesn't (until reading this blog). I don't want to pressure him, burden him, make him run away with.....I don't really know why it hurts but it does. I thought that it would be a great chance to start "fresh" with him. So....I held on to that pain.

Mrs. Janet had just told me (in Sunday school class) that I would need to come down in front of the church one Sunday before being baptized and let Pastor Steve introduce me. She asked if that made me nervous.....of course it does!! It shouldn't because I am becoming one with the Lord, but I will be all alone!!! That is a VERY emotional thing for me and I will be placed in the middle, in front of everyone to see that I am all alone!!!  OH ME OH MY!!!  So.....with that weighing on my heart, my dad, my sister, my attitude funk...I was on the verge of a major break down.

Sunday night came and that afternoon, I was seemingly fine, or I pretended to be fine, I tried/wanted to be fine. Until Brandon and I had a tiny disagreement. All my worries came to a head and after my shower, I broke down. I sat in the bathroom floor crying and praying to the great Lord above about my worries. I asked him to:

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. - Psalm 139:23

I cried like I have never cried before to the Lord. When I thought that I was about to rise out of it, I would cry some more. I heard Brandon coming through the closed door and I thought, oh my...this is a first, he has never seen me like this; but I couldn't move. He asked if I was ok and I shook my head yes, and he knelt down beside me and hugged me. It was exactly what I needed at the exact right time. I cried some more!! 

When I left that bathroom, I felt renewed. I totally felt that 'attitude funk' being released. Even though the situation with my dad had not changed, I felt (and still feel) calm about it. The situation with me going to the front of the church alone, still scares the fire out of me... but I was reassure that He will be standing there with me and it will make me a STRONGER me. Just a fair warning: I know I will cry...that is what I do now...I cry. I am crying now...:)

Brandon said that it is "nice to have me back"!!  I feel the same... I am glad to be back. Thanks to the Lord being by myside, I can be back with m full suit of armor:  the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. - Ephesians 6:17

By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North:

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know

Friday Words of Encouragement

Wherever you go, whatever you're facing, whoever you're with: {Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. ~Deuteronomy 31:6}

Speaks to my heart!!!  AMEN!!!

Holiday Weekend!!

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY AMERICA!!! 

So this Holiday weekend we have big plans!! Not many plans but I am SO excited about reuniting with a high school friend. It is so ridiculous that we haven't spoken or seen each other in, oh I'd say about 4-5 years, and she lives in TYLER!! Shame on me.

I am so excited to see her kids and for her to meet Landen. Her mother and older sister and I were close too. We were all like sisters.  They will all be there. We will meet up at The Villages and swim! Landen will have so much fun doing that and I will have so much fun with my friend. :) I talked with her last night through text for a little while. We both wanna know so much about each other. I cant wait to see her face!!

We will fire up the smoker this weekend and relax. Maybe do some house work. We will have a great time, just being a family! 

Hope you all have a great and safe holiday weekend. Enjoy it with your family!!

God Bless!!

My Nasty Attitude Funk

Yesterday I got into a funky attitude. I settled into it really well. It surrounded me like a warm cashmere sweater. I kept telling myself that I needed to break out of it, but unfortunately it felt too comfortable. I didn't like it, not one bit; it overwhelmed me.

I started thinking, there are SO MANY THINGS that I need to do. I got taken over by all the "to do lists" (that I hadn't even made yet). I felt pressure to get it all done and when I realized that I couldn't, instead of letting it go and doing what I could, the pressure grew deeper. 

So I showed my attitude to Brandon and Landen. :(  I tried to read my bible; taking a hot bubble bath, listening to my music..... nothing worked. It had stuck to me like glue.

This morning I woke up feeling better...until I looked around and remembered all the things that made me upset the ngiht before. Landen has been a little fussier than normal. He is trying to communicate but cant get across what he wants and he gets fustrated. Brandon had to go into work last night, he was tired and wasnt in the helpful mood. All these things started making me stressed. I got an attitude with Brandon and Landen....again!!  What is wrong with me?

Since I have dropped Landen off at daycare, I have pondered what is wrong (I havent pin-pointed it yet but I dont need to, it is over with). 

It is so easy to get caught up in the earthly things of life. I had a talk with Jesus and refocused my mind and heart upwards. Satan grabbed a hold of me and would NOT let go.

When I was in that funk, I didnt want to be there but couldnt shake it. So I have gave my husband permission to grab a hold of me and shake! Obviously, not to hurt me but to make me realize that I am focused on the wrong things.

Next time I am in a funk....I am just gonna "shake it" off, refocus my heart and mind on the upward path.