Fear has been BROKEN!

Ok, here it is...the blog about my journey down the aisle at church! First let me start out by telling a story that leads up to my decision to walk down the aisle (instead of doing it at the baptistery this Sunday).

Saturday, the fam and I were out and about doing family stuff (mostly errands). When I got home, I logged on to Facebook through my phone and saw that I had a new message. The message appeared to be from Holly but I thought, "surely not....must be a mistake." So I looked further and it sure was from Holly. It was a nice, simple message that asked if we were both in a place where we could start 100% new. Make a fresh start, don't bring up the past, just let God take reigns and go from there. My first reaction was "Thank you Lord, You have answered my prayers." 

Let me explain what prayers he answered; there were a LOT of prayers said and most of them....He did NOT answer. For the past few weeks, maybe a month, every time I thought about Holly, I would have "normal" thoughts. Nothing negative attached, just "I wonder how she is doing" and then I would go about my life. I would pray that God would help her see the same in me. That we could both have a "normal" relationship....with the negativity gone and just "be". So when she sent me that message....I was shocked!!

I don't know why I was shocked because I know that God is POWERFUL!! But to see it first hand, to see and FEEL his love is OUTSTANDING!!!  It reassures me of everything that I know. It isn't about the fact that Holly and I may be friends again, it is more about the fact that I trusted God and "had open hands with her" and truly gave him the control and he brought it back to me.

As Mrs. Janet always says "Blessings follows Obedience". That statement is SO true!!  

So back to my story. I told Brandon that He has answered my prayer and if he can show me that compassion (because I wanted it so badly) then I could give him what He would want....I can walk down that aisle and show that satan has NOTHING on me. I was excited (still am). When I would get nervous or anxious about it, I would remember why I am doing this. Because He has done SO much for me.....I can DO THIS for Him. :)

Sunday came and during Sunday School, I told Mrs. Janet about what had happened and why I wanted to do it. She was so proud and happy for me! She told the class that I would be walking down and for them to be praying for my strength, and legs not to give out! LOL

I told Meagan, who had graciously offered to come down with me, that I was going to do it, even if she had to drag me down there! (She said she would drag me if it came to that! ha ha ha

Before service began, I went and found Brother Steve. I told him that I had changed my mind and would be walking down....I couldn't even do that without crying! I cried when Mrs. Janet told the class about it...I cry all the time when I talk about the Lord. Maybe that means that He is so close to my heart. He has a major hold on me and it is wonderful. Brother Steve hugged me and said that it would be a great thing for me to do.

When the invitation started, I saw Meagan look back at me from the row in front of me and I took one deep breath and said "ok, lets do this"! I walked down my row, past people and out into the aisle. Meagan was right there beside me. We went to Brother Steve and he started asking me if I had accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. I shook my head yes and started crying. I cant remember all of what he said but I know it was good! I was prepared with a hand full of tissue! :) Then we all three hugged as he prayed. The whole time tears were running down my cheeks, I was trembling. Meagan and I then sat down on the front row, to wait for him to introduce me to the church family....there were two other  people who were to be welcomed to the church as well. I was glad the attention wouldn't be soley on me! Brother Steve said "Miranda, why don't you come up here". I looked at Meagan and said "why do I have to be first..ha ha". He introduced me and said that I was to be baptized next Sunday and that I am a new believer.....I was fine until he said "The Holy Spirit has a hold of her and is shaking her up big time; she is scared to death to stand here..." Then I started crying. But my friends from Sunday School and the nursery came up to stand beside me!  That was AMAZING!!

I owe a huge thank you ALL who came up!!!  It really eased my fears and nerves. It showed me that I am not alone! (Thank you Jen for putting your hand on my shoulder when we prayed....it helped calm me). 

At the end of service lot of people came up and congratulated me and welcomed me to the church as I knew they would.  When I saw Haley in the nursery (she is my dear, dear friend and the one who God choose to put it on her heart to extend a hand to me. She asked me to Feminar...where the Holy Spirit yanked me up and hasnt put me down). I have no doubt that God choose her because she is a strong amazing woman and He wanted us to become closer, which we have. She congratulated and hugged me and said that if she says anymore, she will cry. I love her! I love how we don't have to say anything, yet we know what has been said!

So... I DID IT!!  I broke the fear that satan had on me. Even though I could have done it at the baptistry, I knew that I should do this for Him. He gave his life for me.....I can do anything for Him!! He gives me incredible strength.

Now, I just need to get through the baptizum....should be a peice of cake!!

Once again, thank you all for your encouragement and support!!

Have a Wonderfully Blessed Day!