This week has been full of visits with my dad. Sunday I visited with my dad for about 7 hours! Monday we had lunch, Tuesday he came over after I got off work and visited with Landen and I. Landen loves to play with him, although Landen wore him out! he he he. And today, I am meeting Casey, my half sister, and my dad for lunch.
Before I decided to forgive my dad (just a month ago), I never could of imagined that seeing each other would be so "natural". I still have hesitation about it and still not ready to open up 100% BUT I don't feel any negative feelings towards him. (Wheat to know the secret to my new found happiness...its GOD!!! He has touched every piece of my heart and its AMAZING!!) I enjoy seeing my dad, I love watching him with Landen and I know that my dad loves spending time with Landen too. It is cool to learn what kind of person my dad is. Ive never experienced the "father daughter" relationship. Ours is still far from it but it is a start. :) I feel like this week, while he is in town I need to see him as much as I can. Because I know that when he leaves it will be a while before I see him again.
I thank God for giving me the courage and strength to fogive my dad. To see that I can not keep the bitterness between us in my heart. Everyone makes mistakes and I cannot control what they do, but I can control my heart. I do not want that piece of hatred to infect other areas of my heart. I don't like what my dad did and I am very cautious about the chances of him doing it to Landen BUT I cant live my life always worried about "what if". Landen has me and Brandon guide him and teach him. I cant not protect him from everything (no matter how I would like to).God is in control and will take care of me. He knows the plan for my dad and I. Ive got to give it a chance. So that is what I am doing. Opening myself up for the possible new relationship, and so far so good. :)
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. - Colossians 3:12-15
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