Humility and Humble

God has been teaching me so many things on these words. Once He decides to teach you something, he will keep giving you opportunities to flex that muscle. I should be one buff lady!!!

Humble:

I have been fighting with satan on being humble. My heart wants to be humble but satan knows where my weak points are and he attacks them! Is it weird to say that since I have become a believer it feels like satan is after me?! He comes after the relationships that I hold so dear to my heart. He gets in my thoughts.

Example: The other day I was confused on how to respond to a friend. I wanted to speak the truth without justifying myself; without making it about me or making it about her. So I waited to respond....I fought those feelings satan was giving me to the point that it made my belly hurt. I waiting until my brain was free of satan and I could hear only God's words. It was the best choice I could of made and even though it was tough, I am so glad I did. Because of the response I choose to give, more doors were opened. The response satan would have gave certainly would have closed them. And I would have been left feeling sad, depressed, confused and mad at myself - just how satan wants us to feel.  

Satan wants to take all good things away from us; he wants us to believe all is bad and nothing we do it good enough.

God sees that we are human and we do sin. He loves us and forgives us for who we are and wants to show us the glory of His word and His way.

It really is a no brainer for me! I choose GOD!! Every time!! It is not easy to fight those feelings and negative thoughts but the more I flex those muscles the quicker I can bounce back with a Godly response to satan when he challenges me.

A friend gave me this verse when I was fighting those feelings (Thank you Courtney). It is SO true! It spoke to me and when I read it, I knew who our fight is really against.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

I wonder, how do I stay humble with out becoming a doormat. How to I speak up for myself without justifying myself or making putting my needs above someone else. Mrs. Janet answered that question and now it is so clear!! 

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15

God wants us to speak the TRUTH in LOVE! I can tell someone how I feel; with love. My mother always told me (and I am yours did too) "If you cannot say anything nice, don't anything at all!" How true should that really be?!?!? It is ever more true for me now!

Why give those small digs at someone? Does it really make you feel better? "Well if you wouldn't have do that..." "Gosh, I cant believe you..." " Ok fine I will do it then..." (I am going to openly admit; that one is big for me.) I have made myself more aware of saying to Brandon (or anyone!), "Ok, fine then....I will do it. I should have done it to begin with....." When I say that, it hurts him. He wont say it does but it would hurt me! Now instead of setting myself up for failure, I will say "if he doesn't get to it, I will do it." Or I will just go ahead and do it myself instead of letting it get to that point.

Ok, now I am rambling.

Humility:

Mrs. Janet it gave the BEST definition for this confusing word. Humility isn't thinking bad about your self, it is thinking of yourself less often and about others more!! I love it and it speaks for its self!

I hope this all made sense and I made my point (how ever many there were).

Have a very blessed day friends and try and be more humble and have more humility!!!

Remember "Blessings follow obedience!"

My thoughts...

Yesterday in Sunday School, Mrs. Janet spoke about treating our life as a prize; about not taking it for granted, what does having your life as a prize mean to you and how living like it is a prize from God would change the way you spent your time.

I have been thinking about it and I know that each and everyday I try and stay in the present moment with Landen. Even if he is screaming, and throwing a fit. It is a moment that we will never get back and I try to learn something from it. God has blessed me beyond measure with a beautiful, healthy son and knowing he will, 99.9% sure because accidents happen and God may have other plans, be the only child of mine makes it even more important to me to cherish every moment, good and bad. [I do love it when I ask him who's momma I am, and he says "my momma". I tell him, "that's right baby, I am only your momma" - that is a special thing.] Yesterday when he got up from his nap, he sat beside me on the couch and fell back asleep, for about 1 hour. He NEVER does that!! So even thought I had laundry to do, food to cook and what ever else, I sat there and enjoyed that moment with him. I remember that he was making me sweat and he was snoring. :) A moment that makes my heart oh so happy.

I also stay in the moment with Brandon. I will be humble towards him and put his feelings and needs above my own. I think that is key to having a happy and healthy marriage. To put someone else above your self; that is not an easy thing to do. But if he is doing things to make me happy and I am doing things to make him happy.....you cant go wrong. :) Brandon is a very special man. I love my whole family with my whole heart. I am truly blessed and lucky.

The sermon yesterday was about forgiveness.

Forgiveness - that is a tough word to swallow. When someone sins against you and hurts your heart....it is not easy to forgive them. BUT What I learned yesterday is a moment to remember.

Matthew 6:14 says, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

Whoa - ok, so God wants us to fogive others as he has forgiven us. If you cant do that, you wont make it into heaven; hello wake up call! As I was sitting there in service I was thinking of what I needed to forgive others of.  I cant be sure that they will forgive me; but that doesnt matter. God forgives us for our sins, why should we not forgive others?

Man, God is sure teaching me so much....  Have a blessed day friends!

A follow up:

I blogged about my problem. I blogged about the answer God gave me. Now I am blogging about how my feelings have changed.

I was feeling heavy this morning with worry about my feelings.

I am thankful that God and I have had a talk.

I will love that person right where they are in life. I will pray for them.  I will love them as the Lord loves me; unconditionally!! there isn't anything that i can do to earn his love; except repent!  I will turn my nervousness and anxiety into prayer. I will always trust in the Lord because he will provide for my heart.

 "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Matthew 22:36-39 NIV.

Satan had a hold of me this morning and was making me think that I wasn't worthy and that my friendship wasn't going to work out. Satan was trying to pull me down with negative thoughts!!  Oh no he didn't! My God saves!!!!

God has reassured me that if I trust in him and give it all to him; he will provide!!!! 

May His will be done!!!

 3 blogs in 1 day!!  Wow!! God is great! ;-)

Ok Lord...I hear you!!! :)

"Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Ps. 62:8...Do not let unexpected problems distract you from My Presence. Instead, talk with Me about everything, and watch confidently to see what I will do. Make Me your Refuge by pouring out your heart to Me, trusting in Me at all times.~Jesus Calling~

Whats weird (well not werid; more like Jesus speaking to me) is right after I wrote my blog, I saw this.....  I had just poured out my heart to Jesus in my "humble" blog (less than 5 minutes had passed) and he answered me. Its an awesome feeling to be able to see His answers even in the most unexpected places!

Humble...

A while back I was faced with needing to be humble above all else. I was in a situation that had my emotions all wrapped, tangled up and bruised. What I wanted to do is justify myself. I wanted to let that person know what I felt, why I felt it and what they did to make me feel that way.  I was convinced that my way was right. That what I was wanting to do was the right way; until Mrs. Janet metaphorically "slapped me in the face". She reminded me that Jesus wants us to be humble! 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. - Philippians 2:3-4

Being humble is a very hard thing to accomplish; especially when your emotions are attached to the situation/person and your ego has been bruised.

But I did it. I pushed my selfish, justifying emotions aside and apologized from the depth of my heart.  I must admit, that it was a first for me but a wonderful uplifting thing to do. It healed my heart. Once I apologized for the things that took place, even if at first I didnt see it as my fault, somehow in admist of all that I was able to forgive. It felt great to do that.

Ok, so now that I have said that....I want to say this. What do I do when the other person doesn't see it the way you do? When they aren't acting humble and don't return the favor? That part really stinks. I am struggling with it right now. I remind myself that Jesus says "do nothing out of selfish ambition", so....I shouldn't worry about my feelings and how that person treats me....or should I...wait, I don't really know what He would want me to do. Would he want me to ignore my feelings and be sensitive to the other person? Because His word says 'but even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. -1 Peter 14". So I am being torn with my heart and my emotions. I want, like anyone, have the feelings reciprocated.

Oh, I could go on and on about this!! But I am just not sure how to put the feelings into words yet. This is going to a huge challenge for me. Something that I know will make my soul better, wise and closer to Him when I have conquered it. I am thankful that God is on my side and will guide me through the darkest paths. 'His word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path'. With him, I will be able to do this. I pray that God will help the other person see this as well. I will pray these powerful verses.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me. - Philippians 14-18

(Ok, this verse just answered my questions. Thank you God for coming to my rescue so quickly and giving it to me in a way that I can clearly see!!)

Have a blessed day friends. :)

My Attention

I kinda do and I kinda don't feel like writing a blog, so as I write, maybe I will find out why I don't wanna write!

I have a lot on my mind and I am trying to focus my attention where it needs to be....on the Lord first and then my family.

It is not an easy task to focus on the Lord first when your family is physically there and needing your attention. Sure, I think of the Lord all day long but here lately that isn't enough. I have been thinking of making a prayer box(thanks to a wonderful idea from Jennifer Newsham). I have been wanting to do it for about 2 weeks, but never got around to actually getting the supplies. Yesterday after work, Landen and I went to walmart and I got them! Index cards, a index box and index dividers. I was so excited to start writing down prayers!!  After working in the nursery last night, I came home and sat down at the table and started writing.

When people ask you to pray for a certain thing, how often do we forget? I have great intentions of remembering but 'life happens' and I don't remember for very long. I have a card for each person that I want to pray for. Every day I will pull out a few cards and pray.

I need to start setting my time out for the Lord each day. I use to do it but then got distracted by other things, not good, I know. This morning I woke up fine, but as the morning went on I felt myself getting short with Landen and not understanding the way I usually do. I had a short fuse and feel just...blah...and that is a huge sign that the Lord is far from me. I still feel blah and have no excuse for it except that I need to get close with Jesus again.  I need him to replinish my soul.

Sure I could say that I am blah because Landen woke up at 445, or my abdomen is cramping, or today at work is going to be busy or there is so much to do, or that everyday when Landen comes home from daycare he has a bite mark (yesterdays was bad)... but hey, 'life happens'!!! I know that once I set my heart and eyes on the Lord, I will be back to the way I want....ful with joy and at peace with everything.

So, that is why I don't wanna write...because I feel guilty that I have let my relationship with the Lord fall to the waist side'. I am going to focus on the following quote and let the Lord take over.

Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.~Catherine Marshall

Have a greatly blessed day friends.

Good Morning Friends

I have not blogged since Friday and it sure isn't for lack of words. ha ha. I have been so busy at work and when I get home it is all about my baby boy and husband. (I hardly ever blog at night.) [Beware: at the end of this blog, there are two pictures of my insides from my laproscopy....if you get grossed out by that kind of stuff I would suggest not looking! That is my warning to those who do get grossed out; Im sorry!!]

This weekend was great! Landen had a great time at Ethan's 2nd birthday party. He was going down the "big boy" slides by himself. You know, the slides that are covered and curved!! He loved every second of it. There is nothing scared him! Then the Mann's came over for dinner and the boys played there hearts out! They loved playing in the pool and sprinkler. I enjoyed hanging with my friends and seeing Landen so happy.  Sunday I woke up in a lot of pain, I got Landen and I ready enough to look decent to go to Sunday school and then we can home to relax. I love my Sunday school class. Not only is everyone so nice, welcoming and inspiring....but the lessons always touch close. I love it when Jesus speaks to me; even when I don't think I need it!  Landen and I cut church short, went home and got into out pajamas and just hung out with each other. It was a wonderful feeling; even though I was hurting badly; relaxing with my boys is great soul medicine.

Monday I was still in a lot of pain, so I called my doctor and her nurse told me that it was my birth control pills that was causing me to hurt and to wait until my 2 month follow up appointment to see her again. I couldn't believe that she said that; because she had told me 1 week before my surgery, that ultimately removed my appendix, that my birth control pills wouldn't cause pain, they would help cramping. I sat there in disbelief and wanted to throw up; then I wanted to cry. I was in a lot of pain and she didn't seem to care. So that was it. I called and got an appointment with a new doctor (September 12). It is a new doctor and sooner than my follow up appointment; so I will take it. So Tuesday Brandon and I decided that I wouldn't take the birth control pills anymore to see if that is in fact the case. I mean, it couldnt hurt, right?  Tuesday I still cramped and this morning is no different. I will give it 1-2 weeks off the birth control before I call that doctor back and bug her!!!

I have had these pictures from my surgery for a long time....just never shown them. I thought that some of you may be interested to see what the inside of a human looks like...I know that I was intrigued (maybe I am not grossed out because it is my body...if it was someone elses body, I may be grossed out) So...if you dont want to look at them....dont scroll down any further!! 



That white with red vains tube looking thing that her stick is poking  is (or was) my appendix



My appendix is in the corner and the white thing (it is suppose to be white) is an ovary

Thankful its Friday!

This morning before we even got out of bed, I sang the Friday song (just a song I made up that expresses how happy I am that it is Friday, nothing to fancy, it actually only has about 4 different words that I sing over and over along with a silly dance)!! 

I have come up with an idea to help me keep track of my "pain situation". I am in pain a lot and at different times in the day, I get nauseated a lot and at different times in the day. When people ask how I am feeling, I say that I am ok and really I guess I am (I don't think that I am dying.)  I say that I am ok because I am so use to the pain, I kind of don't realize it anymore unless it gets really, really sharp or I am not busy and can focus on it. That sounds weird but life goes on and I have to as well.

I have started a "pain journal". I listed all that has happened leading up to this point and what my doctor has said. That way when the pain gets sharp or when I get nauseated, I can track it. So when my doctor ask me, "how is the pain?" I will be able to show her instead of saying "its off and on". (Thanks to my mother for that helpful tip!)

Friday is trash day!!  Brandon and I have noticed, probably about 5 months ago, that we are "trashy people". Trash gets picked up every Friday. By Saturday it seems we already have about 2 bags in there! I guess I like to throw stuff out!!  Our can is always overloaded!! Maybe we need to cut down on that.

This weekend we are going to a birthday party for Ethan, he is turning 2! That is exciting but makes me realize that Landen is only 3 months behind him....EEEKKKK My baby will be 2 in 3 months!! NONONONO! That is going to be harder than him turning 1.

Saturday we are hanging out with Randi, Kris and Ethan. They moved away about 3 months ago and I'm excited to visit and catch up. :) 

This weather being above 100 (reaching 109 degrees) is RIDICULOUS!!!!  It is really miserable. Getting into my car from work, it feels like my skin is burning off!! It burns your eyes and takes your breath away!! God, please give us some relief from this harmful heat wave.

Friends, Have a wonderfully blessed weekend.

Tootles!

Landen being silly part 2!!

The rest of the video. It was too long to send as a whole. Hope you enjoy as much as I do!

Landen being silly!!!

I hope this video posts right. It is so cute!!

"I took my troubles to the Lord; I cried out to him, and he answered my prayer." Psalm 120:1

Last night, I boldly prayed and asked for God's help with a situation, that His will may be done and that I will be able to see the signs. This morning, I woke up to an answered prayer. I am praising God for it and so happy that it is the answer I wanted.

When you trust in Him and give your problems to Him....He will answer. I know that His will does not always coincide with what my heart wants (or thinks it wants) but He is the Almighty God and I will yield to Him.

Have a very blessed day friends.

Good Morning Friends!

GOD IS GREAT!!!

I am amazed at how he shows himself in our lives. He always makes his plan known.....now the question is, "Are we brave enough to follow it?" 

That is all.

Like a sponge

This Sunday in Sunday School, Mrs. Janet called me 'a sponge of Christ' and said that it was a joy to be around me, a new believer. I felt honored when she said that, :).

I have to agree, I am a sponge for the word of Christ. When I became a believer, I knew about 10% of what the bible said, and even that was vague. I just wanna know what He says! Since I can feel and see what He has done in my life, I just want more!

There are a lot of areas in my life that needed work, oh and believe me; there many areas that are not perfect but I enjoy getting the chance to work on them with His help. I really enjoy learning and putting it in to  practice in my life. It is hard to explain, but it is like the spirit is in me.

My faith in God is deep and I feel that I have a close connection with him.  It was deep from the start, kind of strange for me as a new believer to just jump in and be captivated so strongly. I was in a place in my life where I really needed Him and once I called, He was there with open arms; and has not let go since!

There are days when I don't feel as connected with the Lord as I would like, and I know exactly why. It is because I haven't prayed to him or had my quiet time with his word. It is those days that I feel my attitude slipping downward and my words reflect that.  I know I have to fix that brokenness by boldly praying on my knees (usually in the bathroom..lol...it is a quiet place where no one bothers me!).

Once I repent and praise the Him, when I stand up with a fresh relationship with the Lord....it is awesome! When I walk out of that bathroom, I know that what problems were in there before are still there but I have a new outlook on things. I am above all joyful! Joyful for the things that I have and the things I don't have.

I read a blog a while back, from Lysa TerKeurst, that was about jealousy. I have been thinking about something she said, "I am equip to handle what I have, I am not equip to handle what someone else has."  My problems are mine for a reason, because He has enabled me with the skills to handle them. So, I choose to be joyful about having those problems. :)

Mrs. Janet talked about not playing "the blame game" in Sunday School. We shouldnt blame others for our actions. I sometimes find myself wanting to say (and maybe sometimes I do say it out loud - oops) to Brandon..."If you wouldn't do that to me, then I wouldn't be mad". Whoa....really? That is blaming him for my actions. It is easy to do but I can fix it...with the Lord's guidance.

I am a firm believer that you cant keep doing the same things and expect different results. Changing on the inside first and then putting it into action, will result in different results.

Put your life in God's hands and grow, change, flurish and be joyful in this one life you are given!

I started my antibiotics yesterday (and so far, I have remembered to take it twice daily like ordered..ha ha ha). So now we wait and see if it helps.

Have a great day friends and remember to be joyful amongst your problems because they are yours and He knows you can handle them!