Today.

Today is a couple of things to me.

1. It is my last day of work and the start of a new chapter/journey in our lives. I am overly excited to begin this chapter but when I really think of leaving work, it saddens me. It doesn't sadden me enough to change my mind but I really love my job and the people here are awesome. So with that said, lets move on to the glorious change! I am excited to learn more about Landen and Brandon, to pour my life into Landen and watch him grow to be the person God intended him to be. 

The change makes me nervous, for natural reasons. It is something new. Different. Out of my current comfort zone. It will take some time to get into a new rhythm and learn what works best for us in the new season of our lives. I am so looking forward to giving my time, skill, talent and love to the people who matter most. I am ready. God has prepared this moment for me as a wife and mother. HE has provided everything that I will need; I only need to ask Him to show it to me.

2. Today marks 1 year since my life took a sharp turn. This time last year, I was breaking little by little. I remember it so vividly. I remember how I felt, what I said, what she said. I remember the tears that fell, the dramatic change in my life will never be forgotten. It is my testimony and no matter how painful it was then, or how many feelings it brings up.....it ALWAYS turns to God.

What a powerful thing! For when I think of the turmoil that was in my heart, it leads me to Gods mercy and grace. So when I want to be mad or sad about it; I am honestly thankful for it because of where I am now. It taught me SO much SO FAST. It was really, a lesson of a life time! It taught me how to treat people! How not to judge them, how to truly be HUMBLE (a huge thing to learn), how the fight is against the evil and not flesh. It taught me how to lean on God and not other people for comfort. Forgiveness. God taught me how to forgive actions of others, because I need His forgiveness.

Needless to say, I am blessed and by this horrible situation I am saved!!!

These two verses were tattooed on my heart:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.- Philippians 2:3-4

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. - Colossians 3:12-14

[Section from David Crowder Band, How he Loves.]

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
And all of a sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

Oh how He loves us, oh
Oh how He loves us
How He loves us all
We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking
Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about, the way…

That He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves
Yeah, He loves us