An Open Heart

In my church, we are reading the book called "Signs of Life, back to the basics of authentic Christianity". It is a daily devotion to show up how to be more like Jesus in our everyday lives. I had lunch with Mrs. Janet yesterday and she said something to me that has changed my heart. She opened the book and begin to read a passage from Day 29, "Open Hands, living a generous life" The passage read:

     What are you grasping tightly...trying to keep under your control...unwilling to give to the Lord? Perhaps its a relationship? a possesion? a plan, a goal, or a dream? Maybe its an attitude of bitterness you should have release months ago? Perhaps God isn't able to bless you because your hand isn't open to receive his blessings.

     A closed hand is based on the faulty assumption that we know more about what;'s best for us than our all-knowing God who's wisdom is unfathomable. An open hand, however, reflects the humble awareness that the Lord Jesus can do more than we can do and that His plan for us is better than any we can devise. An open hand says "Lord, You know how precious this thing is to me, but I acknowledge You as more precious. You have a greater plan for my life, and I don't want to miss it by clinging to my own tarnished treasures. I am opening my hand to You in surrender and trust."

WHOA!!!  Every piece of that spoke directly to my heart and mind. I have been praying about Holly and our "situation" but never really gotten peace for it. I thought that I have given Jesus control, I told myself that I did but when she read that to me, I realized that I had not. I was still clinging onto the hope that I could fix it. I was still trying to do things to fix it. What I should have done months ago is said to the Lord, "I now have open hand to you with Holly. You know this is very precious to me but I know your plan for my life is greater. I surrender her to you and trust you with all you do". I cant believe that it has taken me this long to realize that!! I feel so free now!!!

I trust the Lord with my marriage, with my son and have no stress about it because I know he will take care of us. I didn't trust the Lord with Holly because I obsessed about it, tried to fix it, thought that I was able to do something about it.

Then Mrs. Janet said something else that pulled at my heart strings, "Maybe you are treating Holly like an idol. Jesus said that he shall be the only idol and if he isn't, he will never give peace." Once again, I had a revelation!!! That is exactly what I have been doing to my self. Treating her like an "idol". Not that she is "my idol, like American idol", more like, I thought about her all the time, obsessed over her...while Jesus needs to be the idol that I obsess over and think about all the time. I already think about Him all the time, through out the day...but she always crept into my brain and took my thoughts away from Jesus.

THIS IS GREAT!!!  I FEEL LIKE I AM TOTALL ON TO SOMETHING!!!  :) I could go on and on about how this is helping me to see what I need to do. I first need to apologize to Holly for all my actions and then step away! Step far away and let Jesus take the wheel!! 

God Bless you all, I love you!

ITS A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!