Unbroken Promise

[I was thinking about the ultimate promse I made this morning and wanted to get some thoughts off my chest, so thanks for listening.]

About 1 month ago, I wrote a blog called "Open Hands".  In the book from our church, the passage that "spoke to me" was on day 29, "Open Hands, living a generous life':

What are you grasping tightly...trying to keep under your control...unwilling to give to the Lord? Perhaps its a relationship? a possession? a plan, a goal, or a dream? Maybe its an attitude of bitterness you should have release months ago? Perhaps God isn't able to bless you because your hand isn't open to receive his blessings.

     A closed hand is based on the faulty assumption that we know more about what;'s best for us than our all-knowing God who's wisdom is unfathomable. An open hand, however, reflects the humble awareness that the Lord Jesus can do more than we can do and that His plan for us is better than any we can devise. An open hand says "Lord, You know how precious this thing is to me, but I acknowledge You as more precious. You have a greater plan for my life, and I don't want to miss it by clinging to my own tarnished treasures. I am opening my hand to You in surrender and trust."

So, I did what I said...I wrote her an apology and stepped far away. I gave God the reins and control of our relationship. This is a true testament to my faith in Him. I want our friendship back so badly....but I know that He has a good plan for me; a plan that wont hurt me, that will guide me, build a better me and open more doors for me. Maybe down the road in the future His plan involves her; but right now it doesn't. I made a promise to Him, "not to try anymore, not to try and fix our friendship. Just let go." 

I am not going to lie, it is hard. I want to talk to her, but I am not. Every time I think of her and I think that "maybe she will respond with a kind heart if I contact her", I don't! I remember that promise I made to Him and I wont break it. It is testing my faith in Him...I accept the challenge. Even though it is harder some times than others, I wont break that promise.

What hurts the most (and probably what is holding me back) is that she has let go so easily and it doesn't seem to be bothering her, having that feeling makes it that much harder for me (the feeling of the ending of our friendship is only hurting one of us).

But with the help and guidance of Him (and my amazing family) I have learned that "I can grieve over loosing my best friend, and it will take a long time, but what I will NOT do is to let it affect my life. I refuse to let it get my attitude down and make me sad, to where I damage what I have in front of me. I have grown so much through this; I hate that I had to go through it at all; I guess what I should say is "Thank you Holly".

She had said that she wanted space and time; she now has it; I intend to keep my promise to Him.

I know God is GREAT!!!!  God is GOOD!!!!  I am BLESSED and LUCKY!!

Have a great day friends! :)